


Obsession

by moondansr



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, Destiel - Freeform, Incest, M/M, Season/Series 04 Spoilers, Threesome - M/M/M, Wincest - Freeform, Wincestiel - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-12
Updated: 2013-10-12
Packaged: 2017-12-29 04:04:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1000653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moondansr/pseuds/moondansr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is desperate to get closer to Dean but Dean seems to be focused on Sam.  Somehow he has to get Dean's attention but the more he tries the less hope he feels until finally he crosses the one line Dean won't forgive, he kidnaps Sam.  Even though Sam forgives him Dean won't, and Castiel is forced to leave Dean's side.  Away from Dean, Castiel realizes there's no option but to coerce Dean into wanting him.  He runs into Crowley, a demon who has a stone that will solve Castiel's problems for a price.  At first he doesn't want to deal with a demon, but the more Crowley talks, and the more Castiel drinks, the more reasonable Crowley's solution sounds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Obsession

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to [LilithRain](http://lilithrain.livejournal.com/528566.html) for the art, all art included is hers. 
> 
> Thank you to [Dracox_Serdriel](http://dracox-serdriel.livejournal.com/) for being a fantastic beta and sticking with me through the entire process!

Ruby squirmed, fighting the bonds that held her.  She was trapped and there was no way out.  Of course she would struggle.  Castiel couldn’t blame her.  He needed to get it over with.  At that moment, however, he was watching Dean.  
  
There was something about Dean, and it frustrated him.  Angels never felt the things he was feeling.  He could only put a name to them because he’d seen them in human beings.  On the other hand, angels didn’t normally forge the sort of bond he had with Dean.  Something had happened when Castiel pulled Dean from Hell.  No one in Heaven had been able to explain it to him.  They shared an attachment that was both spiritual and physical to Castiel.  
  
Many angels had told him the bond was best broken.  Castiel tried to break it.  That had been painful, more than that, breaking it felt wrong.  His attempts to break the bond inflicted pain upon Dean as well, and he hated watching the human suffer.  Castiel feared they would both be permanently scarred if it was broken.  No, he would not break it because no matter what the other angels said, Castiel knew it was the wrong thing to do.  
  
Instead he found himself spending most of his time watching Dean, and therefore, watching Sam.  Dean gave so much of his time and effort to his brother.  Castiel had many brothers and sisters, but he gave none of them that type of intense devotion.  Perhaps it had to do with having only one brother.  Watching Dean with Sam upset him, there was a burning sensation in the pit of his stomach and he frowned a lot.  He was pretty sure that he was feeling something more severe than unhappiness.  
  
Castiel wanted that closeness to stop, or at least lessen.  He needed to drive something between the brothers so Dean had more time to himself.  He enjoyed being around Dean when Dean was alone.  They could be closer during those times, and Dean’s attention was all for him when they were alone.  Something between them felt incomplete to Castiel.  Perhaps if they had enough time together, without interruption, it would complete and things would be better.  Ruby was his prisoner now because of all that.    
  
“Banish me or let me go already!” Ruby screamed.  

  
  
Castiel stopped watching Dean.  She was making too much noise.  He wanted to keep watching Dean, but dealing with Ruby might get him what he needed most.  
  
“I don’t intend to banish you.”  If he banished her, she would find a way to come back.  What he needed to do was kill her.  With no orders to do so, however, Castiel was reluctant.  Demons were evil, yet it wasn’t natural to go after one for his own benefit.  
  
She stopped struggling and stared at him, “What are you going to do then?”  
  
“I will eliminate you, permanently.”  Castiel had to get rid of her.  Sam’s addiction to demon blood would infuriate Dean and lessen their closeness.  It might even drive the brothers apart in a more permanent way.  Then Castiel would get his chance.  
  
“You can’t do that,” her struggles increased.  “Why would you do that?  I’ve been helping the Winchesters and you like them.”  
  
He had set things up perfectly, so he knew she was trapped.  Still, why was he prolonging this?  Wasn’t he just torturing her at this point?  Even a demon didn’t deserve to be tortured without reason.  “I’m sorry, there is no other way.”  
  
“No other way for what?”  There was a slight squeak to her voice, which was totally unnatural in a demon.    
  
She claimed to be helping, but she had to know that what she was doing was destroying Sam.  Any addiction was bad.  To have demon blood pumping through his body in increasing amounts would eventually turn Sam into a demon and Ruby knew it.  
  
For a single moment longer Castiel hesitated, then he moved quickly, plunging his blade into her.  She screamed, gurgled, and blood dripped from her mouth as Ruby’s existence ended. Then Castiel felt another odd thing, a tight twisting feeling.  Was it guilt?  Why would he feel guilty?  Perhaps it was just anxiety?  Even that would be odd. He reached forward and touched the vessel which had been Ruby’s, but then he saw the Reaper.    
  
“Her time was up before she was taken,” the Reaper assured him, “if you will excuse me.”  
  
Castiel nodded and with a flap of his wings he was gone, leaving the rest to the Reaper and whoever found the body in the abandoned house.  The body might be there for a very long time, but that wasn’t really his concern.  Instead of returning to Dean, Castiel went to Heaven.  He always found peace there.  At the moment that was what he craved most.  Unfortunately, even in Heaven walking in his favorite place, he found that total peace was currently out of his reach.  
  
***  
  
Dean was pacing the length of Bobby’s basement again, and again.  Occasionally he would pause to drink, then resume his pacing.  Castiel did not understand it.  Why would he want to listen to Sam’s screams as he withdrew from his addiction?  It appeared to cause Dean unbelievable pain, yet he kept subjected himself to it.  
  
“Dean.”  Castiel went to him.  It was a chance to be alone, more or less, just the sort of chance he’d wanted.  The details were different but he couldn’t force the details.  
  
“Cas,” Dean stared at him.  The whites of his eyes were pink and puffy.  Dark circles surrounded them.    
  
Seeing Dean this way was painful.  Perhaps he’d done the wrong thing?  As he considered what to say a long silence stretched between them.  Finally he chose, “I am sorry.”  It seemed like the right thing to say.  He wasn’t sorry, but he’d seen humans offer up the words many times when they didn’t mean them.  He was sorry about one thing.  He was sorry that Dean was suffering.  It was unpleasant.  
  
“Yeah.” Dean didn’t even complain about how close Castiel was.  That was something.  He risked giving Dean a hug to see what might happen and was surprised when Dean clung to him, not letting go.  Dean had not clung to him since Castiel pulled him from Hell.  The closeness felt so good, so right.  All at once, he stopped regretting what he’d done.  Yes, Dean was hurting, but Dean wanted him, needed him around again.  Yes, it was worth it.  
  
“Is there anything you can do for him?”  Dean asked.  
  
For a moment the question didn’t even make sense, but of course Dean was thinking of Sam again.  Dean’s mind remained forever preoccupied with his brother.  Castiel shook his head.  Even if he could do something he wouldn’t.  “No.” He didn’t let go of Dean.  He would hold Dean as long as Dean allowed it.  
  
“Nothing?  Cas he… he screams for hours and hours every day.  I feel like I’m torturing him.”  Dean pulled away, and Castiel let him go reluctantly.  “I don’t know what else to do.  Will it kill him?”  He looked at Castiel, his eyes intense and such a bright green it made a part of Castiel warm with desire.  
  
“I don’t know.  I’ve never seen this before.”  
  
Dean went to his glass and drank it dry.  Drinking was a frequent pastime of Dean’s, and Castiel wasn’t sure it was a good idea.  Drinking seemed to dull all sorts of things, especially emotions.  He wondered if that was why Dean didn’t seem to feel the weight of the bond between them and the desire to see it completed.  He hadn’t discussed the bond with Dean.  He wasn’t sure how.  
  
“Dean, let’s go outside.”  It couldn’t be healthy behavior standing down here listening to Sam suffer.  “You can’t help him.”  If Sam lived it would be because of his own strength, and his body’s ability to adapt to the loss of the demonic presence.  
  
“I know I just… I feel responsible.  I should’ve noticed there was something going on.  Actually, I did and I should’ve done something about it.”  
  
“What could you do?”  
  
“I don’t know, something.  I could’ve followed him and seen that he was drinking it, stopped him sooner.”  Dean shook his head.  “Something.”  
  
“You are doing everything you can right now.”  Castiel took Dean’s hand and pulled him towards the stairs.  “Sam is lucky to have you.”  
  
Dean looked down at their joined hands, but he didn’t pull away.  He allowed himself to be led up the stairs, past a drunk Bobby who gave Castiel a vague greeting, and outside into the back among the many junked cars.  
  
“Yeah, I guess, but what am I really doing for him?”  
  
“You should think of yourself sometimes.”  Castiel noticed he sounded upset when he said it, there was a slight growl to his voice that he couldn’t hold back.  It was frustrating.  With Dean, everything was Sam this and Sammy that.  
  
“What?”  Dean stared at him with wide eyes now.  Perhaps he had just picked up on Castiel’s mood.  
  
“You are important to many people.  You should think of yourself.  Sam won’t suffer more if you get some sleep.”  
  
Dean was still staring at him.  Then he looked down at their clasped hands again, and back up into Castiel’s eyes.  “Are you… worried about me?”  
  
“Of course I am.”  
  
“That’s…” Dean shook his head.  He loosened his hand but Castiel didn’t let it go.  “Why are we holding hands?”  
  
That was hard to explain.  Castiel knew that he didn’t want to let go of Dean’s hand though.  “It is warm, and it feels right.”  
  
Silence.    
  
Dean stood completely still, staring.  Eventually Castiel shifted, but he clung to the hand.  When they touched he didn’t feel the desperation for Dean that he felt when they did not.  It was why he always stood so close, getting in Dean’s personal space.  That was where it felt right to stand for him.  Close, closer even better right against, and as he thought those thoughts Dean leaned in.  
  
“It does sort of feel right, doesn’t it?”  
  
Castiel nodded agreement, then Dean leaned in and pressed his lips against Castiel’s.  The kiss was warm, affecting Castiel’s entire self.  He’d never kissed before but he knew he would want to again.  His eyes fell closed, and he thought Dean’s might have done so as well.  Dean pulled away.  Castiel felt a sudden loss, sharp enough that he thought he might always feel it.  
  
“That,” Dean shook his head, “sorry Cas, I shouldn’t have done that.  You being an angel and everything.  Besides that I…” he shook his head, “yeah, guess I’ve been drinking too much.”  
  
Castiel shook his head, hating the words.  “No, I wanted you to.”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
Another long silence stretched between them, and this time it was Dean who shifted, before he looked away.  “Look I don’t really do well with this sort of thing so, I think it’s a bad idea Cas.”  
  
“You do not wish to kiss me.”  
  
“No, it’s not that I don’t want to.”  Dean looked back at him, and seconds later they were kissing again.  Their hands slipped apart as their arms twined around one another, the kisses deepening into something more.  
  
Castiel trembled as Dean’s tongue entered his mouth and met it with his own.  He felt the way their entire beings brushed against each other, felt the bond beginning to deepen, strengthen.  The power of the feelings overwhelmed him, and he felt tears in the eyes of his vessel, his tears.  That was such a strange thing.  Ever so faintly, Sam’s voice drifted out to them.  
  
“Dean,” Sam called, “Dean!”  
  
The moment was over.  Dean pulled away, and without a word he was running into the house, running to his brother.  He left Castiel shaking with feelings he didn’t understand and didn’t know what to do with.  The kiss had been perfect, there had been so much happening between them or at least it had seemed that way.  Castiel lurched unsteadily to a car and sat down on the hood.  Why was it so easy for Dean to leave him?  Was it possible that he was imagining the bond, or that it was only on his side?  
  
No, he could see as well as feel the bond stretching between them, stronger than ever now.  Dean had to feel it.  Sam was the problem, and exposing his addiction hadn’t worked.  Now Castiel knew he would have to come up with something better.  
  
***  
  
Dean and Sam were doing jobs together again.  Castiel watched them, trying to understand what had happened after that kiss.  Dean hadn’t let him get close since, and it didn’t seem to matter what he did.  It wasn’t just that.  Dean was worse than ever when it came to Sam.  He was with him every moment.  There was no way Sam was sneaking in a sip of demon blood and there was no way Castiel was getting Dean to himself.  
  
“Hey Sammy, where are you going?”  Dean asked as Sam headed for the hotel room door.  Castiel was there but not visible.  He used to look at them from other places.  Lately he’d been hanging out in their space.  It helped him feel a bit better to be near to Dean, even without Dean knowing about it.  
  
Sam turned back from the door, holding it partway open.  Sam seemed angry a lot lately, fed up with the way Dean was treating him.  There was an edge to his voice when he spoke.  “I’m getting water from the machine.  Is that okay with you Dean?”    
  
“Don’t take too long, okay?”  
  
“No, it’s not okay,”  Sam slammed the door without leaving and walked across the room to Dean.  “You need to stop treating me like I’m five, okay?  I know you’re upset about the demon blood thing…”  
  
“Upset?  Yeah, I’m upset.  You knew it was wrong and you did it anyway.”  
  
“It made me strong, and I needed to be strong.  I thought it would help us.  Can’t you understand that?” Sam asked, and Castiel could almost sympathize.  He knew what it was like to care so much about someone you would do just about anything to keep them safe, and keep them to yourself.  It wasn’t exactly like that though.  Sam didn’t seem to mind being apart from Dean, he just wanted to keep him alive and as healthy as possible.  Still, Castiel could relate.  
  
“No!”  Dean grabbed Sam by the shoulders and shook him a little, “It’s not worth it.  You know this, we… there are other ways, ways that won’t hurt you.  You know what that was doing to you.”  
  
“I know what it was doing now, I didn’t know then,”  Sam stared into Dean’s eyes.  “Trust me a little, okay?  We can’t keep going like this.  You need to let me breathe.”  
  
Dean shook his head, his hands tightened on Sam’s shoulders.  “I can’t, Sammy I just…” he leaned in and kissed Sam.  
  
Castiel stared.  He felt like some part of him froze.  It was painful.  The feeling he had inside had nothing to do with Sam and Dean being brothers and everything to do with the familiar way Sam leaned down to meet Dean’s lips, the way their tongues were touching and Castiel knew it.  It was the desperate look in Dean’s eyes and the calm acceptance in Sam’s.  For a time it was like Castiel was watching a tv show.  His eyes followed their movements, heard their words and he wanted to make it stop but he couldn’t.  It just kept playing out in front of him.  
  
“I need you to be okay,” Dean said, holding Sam’s eyes.  
  
“Yeah, I know.”  Another kiss, this one initiated by Sam.  “I need you to be okay too.  I’m not drinking it again, Dean.  I told you that.”  
  
Dean pulled at Sam’s shirt, taking it off of him, “I just can’t get myself to trust it.”  
  
“Yeah, I can tell.  You’ve got to give me something.  We can’t keep on like this.”  As he spoke Sam’s hands moved, stripping Dean, not just of his shirt, of everything.  Shirt, shirt, shirt, jeans, underwear, “I have to be able to breathe a little bit.  You know that.  We’ve been through this type of shit before.  Give me a little space.”  
  
Dean was naked and it was for Sam, not for Castiel.  They didn’t even know Castiel was there.  It hurt somehow.  Still, Castiel’s eyes roamed Dean’s body and he felt the heat of desire.  He knew what it meant.  Sex was something he’d never experienced or even thought he wanted.  He wanted that with Dean.  He didn’t care how, as long as their bodies touched, skin to skin and it felt good to both of them.  
  
It wasn’t Castiel though who pushed Dean onto the bed.  
  
“You’re wearing too much, Sammy.”  
  
“Yeah?  Maybe that’s because I’m going to be the one in control tonight.”  
  
“Sammy,” the word was a protest, but Castiel could see Dean was excited, he wasn’t actually upset.  Sam took the lead, kissing down him, touching and occasionally nibbling at his skin.  Dean moaned, and Castiel saw the moment when he gave himself over to it, allowing Sam the control he wanted.  He needed to stop watching this.  He needed to leave, but a part of Castiel loved watching the two men together doing things he wanted to do.  As painful as it was, and it was painful, he loved Dean’s face as Sam prepared him.  
  
Even more than that, the look in Dean’s eyes when Sam slid inside of him.  Those green eyes, so bright, so full of desire.  It made Castiel want to cry.  Sitting down on the other hotel bed, Castiel watched the whole thing as the two spirits touched, entangled and returned to their separate existences.  He heard every scream from Dean to Sam and Sam back to Dean.  Yes, they loved each other, far more than he had realized.  No wonder Dean was so stubborn.  He already had someone.  
  
As the two held each other close Castiel watched Dean cling to Sam desperately.  As long as Sam was around there was no hope for him.  If he was going to have Dean he had to do something about Sam.  Yes, there was no choice.    
  
Sam had to go.

  
  
***  
  
Sam was sneaking out of the hotel room in the middle of the night.  Castiel had no idea why or where he was going, and he didn’t have time to care.  He needed to take Sam.  He needed to kill him, and, above all else, he needed Dean to never realize that he was the one who had done it.  Castiel had to make himself visible in order to take Sam away.  
  
“Cas?” Sam asked, aware of him as soon as he appeared.  
  
“I am sorry Sam.”  Castiel touched him, and they were gone.  He took him to a locked cabin he had found.  From what he could tell, the place had been left barred up from the outside when the owner moved out of country.  There was no sign she intended to return anytime soon.  
  
Sam looked all around then back at him.  “What are we doing here?”  
  
Castiel took a deep breath and considered pacing.  Dean did it a lot, although it didn’t seem to really help him.  At the moment, however, Castiel understood the impulse.  It was a desire to move away from circumstances, people, your own thoughts, even though they couldn’t be escaped.  
  
“I need you to stay here.”  He had everything set up.  There were chains to hold Sam in place.  He had the body of a vampire that he could burn with Sam.  It would look like Sam had somehow trapped his captor with him.  They just had to wait long enough for Sam to have driven to this place, or hitched a ride.  He wasn’t chaining Sam up yet because… because it was too soon, of course.  
  
“Stay here?  Why?  Do you need help with something?”  
  
Castiel left.  He didn’t know how to answer those questions.  Whenever he was faced with something he couldn’t or didn’t want to answer, all he could think to do was leave.  Of course he didn’t go far.  He had to keep an eye on Sam.  
  
Sam looked around again, threw his hands in the air and said, “Great.”  Then he began walking around.  He studied what was in every drawer in the place, looked at every boarded window and the doors as well.  He found the decapitated vampire corpse and the chains.    
  
“All right Castiel, I don’t know what you want and I’m not sure I care.  I can’t hang out here forever.”  He took out his phone.  Castiel returned, reaching out to take the phone from Sam who pulled it back.  
  
“Why are you trying to take my phone?  Why didn’t you bring Dean along for this… whatever it is?  I can’t help you, you know, if you won't answer any of my questions.”  
  
Castiel could see that Sam was still doing things with the phone.  Using his powers he knocked it from Sam’s hand, then retrieved it.  Looking at the phone he saw a half typed message to Dean.  All it said was Cas.  For all Castiel knew he had been about to send it.  It would be enough to shed suspicion on Castiel when Sam didn’t turn up.  He deleted the message.  “You must not contact Dean.”  He took the battery out of the phone and returned it to Sam.  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“He cannot know.”  
  
“He can’t know what?”  Sam stared at him with his large, expressive eyes, and Castiel felt like his skin was caked with dirt and sin.  Could he kill this man?  Sam meant so much to Dean.  Wouldn’t it tarnish their relationship to do this?  
  
“This.”  Castiel gave in to the desire to pace.  He walked one way across the room, the other way, back again, actually it was a bit helpful.  It didn’t fix anything, but it calmed him.  It took the edge off of things.  His breathing slowed a bit, even though his heartbeat continued to race along with his mind.  Even if he let Sam go at this point some explanation would have to be given to Dean.  If Dean knew what he had considered doing...  He shook his head, no, he had to go through with this.  Then Sam was standing directly in front of him, blocking his path.  
  
“What is this?  Tell me, I might be able to help.  No one understands Dean better than I do.  Maybe you’re making a big deal over nothing.  I mean I saw some chains and a dead vampire.  Just tell me what’s happening and I’ll tell you what your best move is.”  
  
The problem with all of that was that Sam was trying to help him while he was preparing to kill Sam.  
  
“You will not help me with this.”  
  
“Try me.”  Sam had his determined face on.  Castiel had seen him use it on Dean many times.  The face meant business.  It meant Sam was not backing down, and it also meant the next move belonged to Castiel.  Reluctantly, he reached out and touched Sam, moving him into the room with the chains.  In fact, into the chains.  He reached for the blade that had killed the vampire and handed it to Sam.  Sam looked over his new situation in confusion, then annoyance, then uncertainty.  
  
“I’m sorry Sam.”  
  
Sam’s eyes met Castiel’s again.  “Are you planning to… kill me?”  He must have seen something to confirm the plan because without hearing an answer he went on, “Why?”  
  
He owed him some sort of explanation.  “Dean can only see you.  He cannot see the bond between us while you exist.”  
  
Castiel saw Sam wrestle with that for a while.  “You’re really going to kill me because you want Dean?”  
  
Castiel nodded.  
  
“Don’t you think Dean will stop wanting you when he finds out you’ve killed me?”  
  
Castiel looked at the vampire on the floor and the weapon in Sam’s hand.  “He will think you died fighting vampires in a fire you set and didn’t manage to escape in time.”  
  
“Even if he does think that for a while,” Sam said, right away, “Don’t you think he’ll eventually try to contact me?  I mean this is Dean we’re talking about.”  
  
“Yes, I will have to take precautions.”  He hadn’t thought of that.  “Thank you.”  
  
There was a silence, and then Sam laughed, “Did you just thank me?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Can you kill me?  Can you really?”  Sam was staring at him intently.  “I mean I know I’ve never been as close to you as Dean.  There’s been something there from the beginning, but I thought I meant something to you.  You have definitely come to mean something to me.  Are you sure you can kill me?”  
  
It felt like a good time to pace again.  Castiel tried it.  It did less good this time.  He kept seeing Sam in the chains out of the corner of his eyes.  It was simple, light the fire and leave.  One less human in the world.  Even as he thought it though he knew those thoughts were off.  This wasn’t just a human.  This was Sam.  He knew and cared about Sam.  It wasn’t like taking orders had been in the past.  He had no orders to kill Sam, and he liked Sam.  The idea of killing him was born completely of desperation.  
  
“You don’t understand.  When I’m not near him, it burns and I’m sad.  I can be near him but then all he wants is to be near you.  There is an ache that is not physical and ever since he kissed me it’s been nearly unbearable sometimes.”  
  
The corner of Sam’s mouth twitched, “So you’re in love with my brother?”  
  
“I believe so, yes, but it is worse.  I find it difficult to focus on anything but him and I feel that I will do anything to see us complete the bond that began when I pulled him from Hell.”  
  
“What bond?”  
  
“The one that is there.”  Castiel knew Sam could not see it nor could Dean but, “Dean should feel it.”  
  
“Hm,” Sam moved one hand as if to touch his head but the chains stopped him.  “Take these off Cas.”  
  
“I cannot.  I must kill you.”  
  
“Are you really that obsessed?”  
  
Castiel stared at him.  He had to light a fire and burn the whole place.  Then he would have to never tell Dean.  He reached for the feelings which had taken him this far, through the plan, through the kidnapping and found them lacking.  He looked at the ground, then he reached out and touched Sam.  The chains came off, falling to the ground.  
  
“I apologize.”  
  
“Don’t.”  Sam put an arm around Castiel and dropped the weapon.  He took him into the room with the couch and had him sit down.  
  
Castiel felt weak and a little shaky.  He kept thinking of what he’d almost done and it scared him.  Why was his desperation so extreme?  He couldn’t fully fight it though.  A part of Castiel was cursing his weakness, cursing him for not killing Sam while he could.  
  
“Look, I should have noticed something was going on there.  I’ve seen the way you look at Dean and the way he looks at you.  We just have to figure out what’s gone wrong and blocked things from developing.  Then we’ll take care of that and you’ll have your fair share of Dean’s attention.”  
  
“It will not happen.  You’re the one he loves,” Castiel stared at the ground unable to meet Sam’s eyes.  Why was Sam pretending that Dean was free when he wasn’t?  
  
“Well, sure, I’m his brother.  I love Dean too, but there are different kinds of love, you know?”  
  
This time Castiel did look at Sam.  He looked right into his eyes.  “Yes, I know and Dean loves you.  He loves you the way I want him to love me.”  
  
Sam snorted, shaking his head, “I don’t know why you think…”  
  
“Because I saw you, the two of you having sex,” Castiel interrupted.  He didn’t want to hear Sam’s excuses or denials.  “I saw the way he looks at you, like you’re his entire world.  I’ve seen it often but when I saw that I knew what it meant.  He doesn’t love me, he’ll never love me, as long as he has you.”  
  
“That’s ridiculous, Dean and I have been having sex forever Cas.  It doesn’t mean anything like that it’s just being close to someone, letting off some steam, you know?  It has nothing to do with being in love.  I’m not,” he shook his head, “we aren’t anything like a couple and we don’t want to be.”  
  
“Then why is he avoiding me?  Why is he always with you?  It’s because he loves you more!” Castiel’s voice rose, and he had to stop talking in order to calm himself.  He was so angry that he wasn’t even sure he was making sense anymore.  Sam was denying that Dean was in love with him when it seemed like the most obvious thing in the world.  There was a hand on his, Sam leaned close looking at him with those sensitive eyes.  He didn’t deserve that.  Sam should hate him right now.  
  
“I don’t know.  The only way to know is to talk to him Cas.  Dean can be… difficult, you know that.”  
  
Castiel couldn’t help meeting Sam’s eyes.  “I don’t know.  I’m so desperate to get closer to him, this bond is… very strange.  It makes me feel as if nothing matters but Dean and it scares me.”  It was the eyes, Sam’s eyes, and his face, that expression.  It made Castiel feel as if he could say anything and Sam would understand.  “I might have killed you.  I can’t even promise I won’t try again.”  
  
“You won’t, because I’m not going to leave you alone with this anymore.  Let’s talk to Dean together and we’ll figure out what’s going through his head.  Then when it’s time I’ll find something to do while the two of you work out the rest, okay?”  
  
It would never work out that way.  That was Castiel’s first thought on the matter.  “It’s worth a try.  Thank you, Sam.”  
  
“No problem, now let’s get going.”  
  
***  
  
They found Dean canvassing the neighborhood for Sam.  He screeched to a halt when he saw them on the side of the road.  
  
“Where have you been?” Dean shoved the door open, “Get in here!”    
  
Sam opened the door the rest of the way, and Cas popped into the backseat.  He didn’t have much hope for this at all, but he might as well stay and see how it went.  If Sam could bring Dean around that would be easier than anything else he’d come up with.  His plans were getting more and more desperate, less and less to Castiel’s liking.  
  
“Castiel and I have been talking,” Sam said once the door was closed, and Dean was driving the Impala back towards the hotel.  
  
“You could have done that at the hotel,” Dean looked back at Castiel for a moment.  Their eyes met and held.  Guilt filtered through Castiel as the look continued, and he hated himself for what he had done.  Sadly he was pretty sure he would do it again if only it got him Dean.  The look continued so long that Sam had to call his attention back to the road.  
  
“Dean!  Swerving…” Dean looked at the road again, straightening the car.  His shoulders were tense, and he didn’t say another word, even when Sam spoke again.  “It wasn’t something we could talk about at the hotel.”  
  
Dean did not say another word until they were all getting out of the car at the hotel.  Then it was Castiel he turned on, not Sam.  “You want to tell me why my brother went missing from the hallway tonight?”  
  
He did not want to tell him but guilt propelled the words forth, “I kidnapped him.”  
  
“You kidnapped Sam?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Why would you do that Cas?”  Dean’s bright green eyes were hard, cold.  They cut into Castiel, and it hurt.  
  
“Cas didn’t really kidnap me,” Sam interrupted, “It was really just a misunderstanding.”  
  
“Shut up Sammy, I’m talking to Cas right now.”  
  
“I’m not a little kid, Dean, don’t order me around like I am.”  
  
Castiel reached out and set a hand on Sam’s arm.  “It’s alright Sam.  I deserve this.”  
  
“You don’t deserve shit,” Sam looked at Dean.  “Castiel is under a lot of pressure right now.  Would you just listen to me?  This is important.”  
  
“This is bullshit, that’s what it is.  All I want is for Cas to tell me why he kidnapped you.”  
  
“I intended to kill him,” Castiel replied honestly, and Dean would have hit him if Sam hadn’t grabbed hold of Dean’s arm and stopped him.  
  
“No, no this isn’t what the two of you need to do.  If you don’t actually talk about what’s really going on then it will never get resolved.”  
  
The speech got Sam a glare and a growl.  Then Dean turned his eyes on Castiel, and Castiel could see all of the hurt he’d caused as well as feel it.  
  
“Disappear, I never want to see you again,” Dean said.  
  
Castiel fought back the burn of tears.  Emotions were becoming more and more familiar to him as time passed.  With a flutter of wings he disappeared from view, although he didn’t actually leave.  
  
“Really?”  Sam dropped his brother’s arm, “You don’t even want to know why, what he was thinking, why I’m back unharmed.  Don’t you think that’s a little harsh?”  
  
“No, I don’t.”  Dean walked back to the room he was sharing with his brother and unlocked the door, opening it.  Castiel walked past him ahead of Sam, knowing Dean didn’t know he was there.  He wasn’t sure why he was staying around.  Was it to remind himself of how much pain he’d caused with his actions?  Did he have a strange desire to wallow in the feelings of failure and guilt?  Or maybe he just wanted to be close to Dean for a while, physically.  It wasn’t just habit.  When he was away from Dean longer than a few hours it ached.  Dean was a balm and his presence was the only thing that soothed the incomplete bond they shared.  Sam walked through more slowly, shooting a look at Dean that clearly marked his unhappiness.  
  
“What harm did he really do?  I was only gone for a few hours, and I don’t have a scratch on me.”  
  
“There’s one on your right wrist,” Dean’s eyes were on it as he spoke.  
  
“That’s minor, not even worth mentioning.  Castiel is confused Dean.  He’s wrestling with feelings for you that he doesn’t understand.”  
  
“So?”  
  
“So maybe you should talk to him and find out what’s going through his head.”  Sam turned and faced off with Dean, but Castiel could see Dean’s stubborn determination.  He didn’t think Sam could say anything that would sink in.  Still he stayed, maybe it was as simple as habit.  
  
“No.”  Dean got very close, putting his face directly into Sam’s personal space, “There’s no excuse for even thinking of killing you, let alone taking you off somewhere to do it.”  
  
Castiel felt the words and knew them to be true.  Dean would never forgive him, and he didn’t deserve to be forgiven.  What sort of angel was he?  On the other hand, angels in general were weapons of God.  Sam was trying to defend him again, but Castiel was no longer paying attention.  It was hopeless.  He needed to stop caring about the guilt because it hurt too much.  Everything hurt too much.  He walked away through the walls, through the streets, through many, many miles of land and scenery.  The farther he went the greater the pain of the incomplete bond, but he didn’t care.  He deserved the pain, and he didn’t deserve the bond.  He didn’t deserve Dean, but he had to have him.  Somehow he had to have him.  
  
***  
  
That was how Crowley found him, walking.  Castiel wasn’t being especially careful about where he went or who saw him, and demons talked.  Crowley was nothing all that special really, just a punk crossroads demon, but he had aspirations.  All of the most dangerous demons had aspirations.  
  
“Hey there, Angel Wings, what are you doing wandering around with a frown on your face?”  The demon asked.

  
  
For some reason, Castiel stopped and stared.  He had been walking a long time.  He wasn’t even sure how long just… long.  Days had surely passed, possibly even weeks, and many people had tried to talk to him, but this was the one he stopped for.  He studied the demon, trying to understand what about him had made the walking come to an end.  Perhaps it was just time?  Or it could be some sort of sign.  
  
“What do you want?” Castiel asked, his eyes running over the demon.  He should kill it.  A demon was a demon, and they were enemies.  At the moment, however, he didn’t want to.  How could he condemn anyone with the way he’d been acting?  
  
“Well now, it isn’t so much a matter of what I want, is it?  It’s more about what you want.  After all, you look like an Angel who knows what he wants.”  The demon had a good smile, or at least his vessel did.  It seemed warm and friendly.  Of course Castiel knew better.  For one thing he could see Crowley’s true face.  
  
“It’s none of your concern.”  Yet he didn’t walk away, because of… because of a lot of things.  
  
“So, a private matter?  There’s a bar nearby, why don’t we drop in for a drink and a little bit of… friendly conversation.”  
  
“I should kill you.”  
  
“I can’t help noticing that you have not,” Crowley’s smile lost much of it’s warmth.  The expression implied he knew something important Castiel didn’t.    
  
Curiosity rose in Castiel against his wishes.  He sighed, dealing with demons was always a bad idea, and he knew he shouldn’t.  On the other hand, he didn’t have any real desire to kill Crowley.  “No, I must go.”  
  
“It can wait,” the demon clapped a hand onto Castiel’s arm firmly, though not violently, “you aren’t really going anywhere anyhow.  I know the look.  I should introduce myself, name’s Crowley.”    
  
Crowley was guiding Castiel towards a bar with a confidence that was hard to resist, especially the way Castiel felt.  His distance from Dean still affected him, but the farther away he’d gotten the more the sensations became a terrible numbness.  The kind of numbness which came from being hurt again and again until he could no longer feel it, though he knew the pain was still there.  
  
“I’m Castiel.”  
  
“I see, Castiel is it?”  There was some recognition in the demon’s voice, but it wasn’t a big surprise.  There were only so many Angels.  “The one who rescued Dean Winchester, correct?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
They were in the bar now.  It was a nice bar, not the smelly run down sort, more like a pub.  It had to do with atmosphere.  It was carpeted in a deep red thick carpet that, while worn, was not worn out.  The decor had a lot of gold in it, which made Castiel oddly comfortable.  Gold was a frequently used color in heaven, so it made him think of home.  Actually, he preferred nature to the more formal parts of heaven, but lately he was so much on edge that small things had begun to give him comfort.  
  
Once they were inside, Castiel found himself entertaining the thought of having a drink.  It seemed like the right thing to do, considering.  Dean certainly drank when things were bad.  It was a human response to emotion.  Angels did not really have emotions so the human solution was the only one he was familiar with.  Well, angels did have emotions but the emotions never controlled them.  Never.  Castiel realized he couldn’t say that anymore.  
  
He went to a booth that was in a fairly private area, and noticed that Crowley followed along with ease.  
  
“So, you are in a bad state.  I’m guessing it has something to do with… love.”  Crowley said as he looked across at Castiel.  
  
“No, he does not love me,” Castiel corrected as he looked for someone to bring him a drink.  What should he drink?  He had never really drunk alcohol before.  Dean seemed to like beer, whiskey and scotch but, if he was honest with himself, Dean seemed more than willing to drink just about anything with alcohol in it.  
  
“Ah ha, thwarted feelings of love.  Interesting, I didn’t know angel’s had it in them.  So, who is this guy?”  
  
Castiel shook his head, “I do not think I should tell you.”  
  
Crowley brushed the words aside with a sweeping gesture of his hand.  “No matter,” then he summoned a server over to them easily.  Castiel studied him as he did it, wondering if he could learn the method.  Perhaps he would wish to go drinking again in the future.  Dean seemed to find it helpful.  Also, perhaps it would lessen the pain.  
  
“I’ll have my usual, I believe you have it in the back.  Be sure the bottle you choose has been aged at least 30 years.”  He nodded at Castiel, “What are you drinking?”  
  
“A double scotch,” he ordered.  He had heard Dean order that before so he knew it was a common drink.  The server nodded and left the two of them with a bowl of something.  Castiel reached out and took one of the small, brown things out of the bowl.  It was hard and seemed randomly shaped.  There were bits of grains and nuts in it as well as corn syrup and other ingredients.  He popped it in his mouth and chewed it.  It tasted salty and sweet.  
  
Crowley watched him intently as he did that.  “I didn’t think angels needed to eat.”  
  
“We do not.”  
  
“You eat for enjoyment then?”  Crowley raised his eyebrows.  He seemed genuinely curious, and Castiel didn’t see a reason not to answer.  
  
“I do not eat much but I have never seen those before.”  Dean really enjoyed food, and Castiel found that there was some pleasure in trying new foods even though he didn’t really need them.  
  
“It’s a local snack,” Crowley told him, taking a handful of them.  “They aren’t bad.”  
  
For a while they were fairly quiet, then they were drinking.  
  
“You know,” Crowley said casually, as if he was just thinking of this new thing, “I am familiar with a stone that might help you with your little problem.”  
  
“My problem?”  Castiel frowned.  He hadn’t told Crowley about Dean, had he?  
  
“Your unrequited love.  There’s a stone known as the passion stone.  When used correctly it will make any person fall in love.”  He smiled at Castiel, who set down his empty glass.  
  
The alcohol really hadn’t done anything to him at all.  “You wouldn’t help me for free.  I know what you are.”  
  
“There would be a price of course, quite minor, nothing that you don’t have easy access to.”  
  
“Angel’s do not have souls.”  What could the demon be after?  Castiel ordered another drink when he was asked and turned his eyes back on Crowley.  
  
“Of course not.  Angels have other things, very valuable things, but I’m only after two of those things.”  Crowley smiled.  “Have another drink.  We don’t have to rush, you can take your time with the decision.”  
  
Castiel was on his tenth double shot of scotch when it occurred to him that it might be best to stop drinking.  He felt light headed, and a little too relaxed.  The pain from the bond had lessened somehow.  This wasn’t the numbness, it was an actual lessening of pain.  
  
“You are trying to get me drunk,” Castiel accused, setting his empty glass aside, “but I will not make a deal with you.  Demon’s can’t be trusted.”  
  
“That’s true, you can’t really trust much of anyone anymore,” Crowley agreed.  “In fact, trust is overrated.  I advise against it.”  
  
That made sense.  Castiel knew what he meant by it, no one could really be trusted.  He nodded.  
  
“I don’t want you to trust me.  Keep me honest, I don’t intend to trust you either.  I’m just trying to form a mutually beneficial deal here.  You get the stone and use it on this man you love.  I get a couple of things I need in order to work a spell.”  
  
Castiel frowned, “What sort of spell?”  
  
“Uh, uh, uh, no, we won’t discuss that.  The spell is the spell.  I have my secrets, you have yours.”  
  
It did make sense.  After all he hadn’t wanted to give Crowley Dean’s name.  The server came and took his empty glass, replacing it with another full one.  He hadn’t wanted more, but there it was.  Although Castiel remembered deciding to stop, he reached for the drink.  It seemed wasteful not to consume it.  “What do you need from me?”  
  
“There’s the question.  It’s really quite simple, all I need is a vial of your blood.  Then when everything is set up you have sex with me.  As soon as that’s done I’ll hand over the stone and we go our separate ways.”  
  
“Angels cannot have sex, we are genderless,” which was true, but didn’t he mean to have sex with Dean?  He had a perfectly serviceable vessel to do that in.  
  
“Sex with you while you are in that vessel will do, or any vessel really so long as you are present.”  
  
So the demon wanted to do a spell that required sex with an angel.  Castiel could only think of a few of those off hand.  One meant to control an archangel, but that didn’t require angel blood.  There was another which would harness the power of an angel for several hours.  Then there was the one that would create a vial of poison which could kill angels.  “You must promise not to kill me.”  
  
“Of course,” Crowley replied smoothly.  
  
It was becoming a little more difficult to focus on the demon, “Hand the stone to me before we have sex.”  
  
“No, I don’t think so, you are too likely to flee with it.”  
  
“I won’t know how to use it.  You can tell me that after we…” why was the idea so repugnant to him?  Sex seemed to be a fairly straightforward act and people seemed to enjoy it in many different forms.  “… Have sex.”  
  
“You drive a hard bargain Castiel, shall we sign on it?”  Crowley offered a scroll with more or less endless script on it, but Castiel handed it back.  
  
“I will not sign anything in this state.”  He drank the rest of his scotch.  “Also, I want several more drinks.”  
  
Crowley stared at him for a while then a slow smile warmed his face.  “Of course, drink for as long as you want.  When you’re done we’ll get started, shall we.”  
  
“Yes, when I’m done.”  Castiel thought it was better that there was no record of him dealing with a demon in any way.  He knew he shouldn’t do it.  The stone would make Dean want him, make him stay with him.  That was worth anything, wasn’t it?  Yes, maybe, it probably was.  He could have Dean and not kill Sam.  Everything would be okay.  Eventually he might not need the stone at all anymore.  
  
He’d consumed several bottles worth of scotch by the time he spoke again.  “This stone will make Dean want me for a long time, right?  It doesn’t have a time limit on it, does it?”  
  
“No, of course not.  So long as you posses the stone you will have your man.”  Crowley replied.  He seemed amused by something, but Castiel could not imagine what that something was.  
  
***  
  
“The spell calls for a vial of angel blood, unicorn horn, several herbs and one tooth from a fairy, a werewolf and a vampire, Bobby.  Does that help?” Sam asked over the cell phone as he looked over the parchment he and Dean had discovered in the warehouse.  
  
Dean bent over the body of the dead vampire.  “Looks like they have their vampire tooth.”  Then he heard a sound off to the right and stood, waving at Sam to keep talking.  He moved as silently as he could towards the sound.  
  
“No, we don’t have much more to go on.”  Sam nodded at Dean,  “The parchment looks like a shopping list of sorts.  Yeah, get back to us.”  
  
Dean turned the corner into the supply closet abruptly and found himself staring at a demon.  
  
“Give back the list and you won’t be harmed,” the demon said as if he had the upper hand.  
  
Dean smiled, “No, I don’t think so.  I think we’ll do things a different way.”    
  
Lately, Dean had been in a terrible mood.  Sammy wouldn’t let the whole mess with Cas go, and to be honest, he was starting to feel a little guilty.  Sam was most important to him, he always would be, but Cas had deserved a chance to explain himself.  Being away from Cas for such a long time was painful.  He’d begun to feel all sorts of unacceptable, disturbing things.  The longer Cas was gone the worse those feelings got.  There were only a few things that helped.  Drinking, Hunting and beating the crap out of monsters.  That was the what he thought would work best on this demon, beating the crap out of it.  
  
Once the demon was unconscious, he had Sam draw a devil’s trap, and plopped it down in it.  
  
“Now what?”  Sam asked, “You want me to banish it?”  
  
“No, I don’t think so.  Let it get conscious.  I want to see what it knows.  Maybe we don’t need Bobby to figure out the spell after all.”  
  
Sam nodded, “Yeah, well, whatever is fastest.  Most of these ingredients are crossed off.”  
  
“Let me see that,” Dean snatched the list.  Angel blood, fairy tooth, all of the herbs and vampire tooth were all checked off.  “Vampire tooth wasn’t crossed off when we got here.”  
  
“Yeah, I know.  It is now though, must be magic parchment or something.”  
  
Dean nodded agreement and handed the list back.  “Angel blood, you would think that would be hard for them to get.”    
  
He turned and went about preparing the demon for a torture session, tying it up securely.  Once he would have worried more about the vessel the demon was in, but it had become harder to care lately.  Demon’s wore their vessels out so quickly they hardly ever saved people.  Except when Sam was juiced up on demon blood and he didn’t want to think about that.  In fact, the thought he’d just had made him look over at Sam.  
  
“You… don’t have to stay for this,” Dean said, “I’ll probably make him bleed.”  
  
The long silence that followed made him think Sam might actually leave, but in the end, his brother shook his head.  
  
“I’ll be fine Dean, I have to be.  How can I expect to Hunt if I can’t be around demon blood anymore?”  
  
“Yeah, I get that but it might be better to ease back into that part, you know?”  
  
“No, I’ll be fine,” Sam was looking everywhere except at Dean or the demon, and he seemed a little twitchy.  Still, Dean didn’t think he should press the issue.  He had to have some trust.  They had already had one argument about that.  
  
“Okay, but if you change your mind you can just leave.  I’ll be fine with that.”  
  
“Aw, isn’t that sweet,” the demon said from his chair.  “You sure know how to make a demon queasy.”  
  
Dean’s attention went right to the demon and he backhanded it.  “Good to hear you're with me again.  I have a few questions.  I expect to get the answers.”  
  
“Yeah, sounds like fun,” the demon said.  
  
“For me.”  Dean’s attention was almost fully on the demon now.  He was also aware of his brother, but Sam was on the fringe of his awareness.  The demon was his focus.  “Now, how about we start with what sort of spell you’re trying to cook up with that list?”  
  
“Not me, us,” the demon said, “and it’s going to be one hell of a spell let me tell you.  Have you ever wanted a pet angel Dean Winchester?  Oh wait, you already have one, don’t you?  Good thing he doesn’t have you yet.”  
  
Then the demon erupted into laughter, and Dean drenched him in holy water.  When he stopped sizzling Dean leaned in close, “What are you talking about?”    
  
The demon shrugged and Dean started cutting him up slowly with a blade drenched in holy water, “I have better things too, if you keep pushing me.”    
  
Dean heard Sam whimper, and he saw that Sam had backed away and was trembling.  Damn it, he shouldn’t have cut into the thing so many times.  
  
The demon picked up laughing again.  “Want a sip of my blood?  Come on over, I’m sure big brother won’t mind,” the demon managed before Dean drenched him in holy water again.  
  
“Get out of here Sammy!”  
  
“No, I… I’m…” Sam turned his back on them, “I’m fine.”  
  
Why did he always have to be so difficult?  “No you aren’t fine.  Now go wait in the Impala until I’m done with him!”  Dean had to actually turn and glare at Sam before he finally retreated, his back rigid but his body shaking.  
  
“Aw, that’s not fun,” the demon said, evidently recovering from the holy water fairly well.  
  
“It’s not about fun.”  Dean returned to working him over.  It was some time before he managed to crack the thing, but there was little pleasure in what he got.    
  
“They have your angel,” the demon said, “and once he has sex with them he’ll be theirs instead of yours.”  
  
Dean didn’t know what the look on his face was, but the demon seemed to find it very amusing.  So amusing it didn’t notice Dean raising the knife for a final strike, killing it.  Cas.  This trail led back to Cas and not one but a group of demons intended to have sex with him.  The thought made him feel frozen.  He was almost unable to get to the car.  
  
Cas must have been weakened somehow, how else could they have captured him and now…  As soon as Dean was crawling into the Impala he spoke.  “We have to rescue Cas.”  
  
Sam blinked at him blankly for a while then managed, “I thought we weren’t allowed to talk about Cas.”  
  
“Well, now we are!”  Dean hadn’t wanted to think about Cas, and Sam had been bringing him up so often.    
  
“You were probably right,” Dean said then, in more even tones.  
  
“About what?”    
  
It felt like Sam was forcing him to say it when he already knew but Dean forged ahead anyhow.    
  
“I should have talked to him.”  He hadn’t wanted to face the feelings he had for Cas or what had happened between them.  He’d never been with a man other than his brother, and the thing with his brother had begun as a guilty pleasure and become progressively stranger.  He loved his brother, sure, but he had no idea if that love was romantic somehow.  They just… had sex at one point and he’d never wanted to stop.  He started driving.    
  
“Where are we headed?” Sam asked.  
  
“Bobby’s, if anyone will know how to find Cas and get us to him it’ll be him.”  
  
***  
  
Castiel was still mostly drunk.  He’d never been that way before, and it didn’t remind him of anything he’d ever done before.  There was a problem with his speech, which was slurred, and occasionally he didn’t even know what he was saying.  The demon Crowley had taken him to a very nice house with large and elaborately decorated rooms.  They had gone to a bedroom which made sense since he remembered agreeing to have sex with the man.  It was all for Dean.  He knew that, although he couldn’t quite attach all of the dots.  Castiel sat on a bed where Crowley had directed him when they’d first entered the room.  He stared at his hands finding them unusually interesting.  
  
There was a deal but he’d refused to seal it.  Deals with demons were a bad idea.  Crowley handed him a vial.  “Angel blood, Angel Wings.”  
  
Castiel studied the vial.  “No, it’s empty,” he observed.  Angel blood would look like blood, of course.  It wouldn’t be invisible.  
  
“I know that you idiot,” Crowley barked, and Castiel turned his wide blue eyes on him.  The demon was mad.  Should he leave?  Before he decided though the demon patted his hand in a friendly way, and his tone was pleasant again when he said, “The vial is for your blood, remember?  You agreed to give me a vial of it.”  
  
“You have a charming smile,” Castiel said, filling the vial with his blood but not giving it over.  He frowned as he tried to remember why he was giving it over.  Finally he did.  “The stone, I give you the blood and you give me the stone.”  
  
“Yes, of course.”  Crowley seemed a bit unhappy, but Castiel overlooked it.  It didn’t seem very important.  “As soon as I have the blood in hand.”  He reached out to take the vial.  
  
Castiel gave it over and waited expectantly for the stone.  It seemed like a very long time that he waited before he finally said, “The stone.  I get the stone.”  
  
Crowley smiled at him again.  “No, I think we’ll finish the ritual first.”  
  
Castiel frowned.  Things were rather fuzzy but he felt certain Crowley was to give him the stone next.  “That was not the deal.”    
  
“It is now.”  
  
Castiel struggled to leave the bed but, at that very moment, Crowley dropped a match which lit a ring of holy oil surrounding the bed.  Castiel was blocked.  He was stuck in a ring that held mostly the bed and a couple half circles of floor.  “You’ve trapped me.”  Although he didn’t like it he couldn’t seem to fully tap the urgency of the situation.  
  
“I have, haven’t I?  I believe that I will find you quite useful in the future.”  Crowley grinned.  
  
“I’m not staying for the future.”  He couldn’t leave though.  The holy oil had him pinned there.  Castiel returned to sitting on the bed observing his surroundings as Crowley lit candles and started chanting.  Castiel knew the language and as he heard the words his heart began to sink.  How could he have forgotten?  An ancient spell for enslaving an angel, that was what was being cast.  It required a vial of the angels blood, freely given and sex with the angel.  Crowley was going to enslave him and that would break his bond with Dean.  It would replace the bond with a different one, one that tied him to the demon.  
  
He couldn’t let this happen.  He staggered from the bed, and threw himself into the holy oil flames.  The scent of his burnt Grace filled the air and the pain made him scream out.  Even through the alcohol he felt the singe left by the holy oil.  
  
“Now, now, let’s not be foolish,” Crowley approached the bed.    
  
“There’s no need to hurt yourself.  I promise I’ll make sure the process is as pleasant as possible.”  He put a hand on Castiel’s trench coat and began to remove it.  
  
“No,” Castiel moaned, trying to pull away.  He could only run so far though, to the other side of the circle.  Crowley had him trapped, and he began to panic.  He felt his powers going everywhere at once but nowhere at all.  
  
“You did agreed to have sex with me, remember?”  
  
Castiel did remember, but that was different.  That was when it was just sex and he would get to be with Dean in the end.  He hadn’t really wanted the sex, just the result.  Now he would never have Dean, never at all.  
  
“Don’t start with the angel tears, little bird.”  Crowley rolled his eyes, pushing Castiel into the bed so he fell on his back.  
  
Castiel wiped blood from one of his eyes.  He’d never had that happen before, and for several moments he was transfixed, staring at the blood on his hand.  
  
“Let’s get this done with then, we’ll do it the hard way if you won’t cooperate,” more roughly Crowley began wrestling off his clothes.  
  
“That’s enough,” Dean’s voice said from somewhere nearby.  Castiel’s eyes went to the voice and he saw Dean, dousing the holy oil flames.  
  
“Dean,” he called, tumbling awkwardly off the bed.  Little flashes of bright lights began sparking all over the room.  Castiel noticed them but he didn’t connect them to himself.  
  
“Bollocks,” Crowley said.  
  
Castiel only had eyes for Dean though.  He struggled to Dean and then collapsed at his feet.  
  
“What the Hell is wrong with you?” Dean pulled him off the floor.  Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean, and the light show stopped.  That was when he realized it had been his powers running wild that had caused it.  Glancing around, Castiel saw that most things in the room were in shreds with the exception of Sam who was just slowly looking around the corner.  He had a single cut on his forehead but besides that he appeared to be alright.  
  
“I am fine Dean.”  Dean was talking to him.  That was something.  He hadn’t gotten the stone, but Dean was talking to him.  
  
“You smell like a bar.”  Dean looked across at Sam then.  “What happened to the demon?”  
  
Sam shrugged and put away his weapon.  “I ducked for cover and when I looked out he was gone.  That was a heck of a light show Cas.”  Sam walked over to them.  “I didn’t see any other demons, you?”  
  
Dean shook his head.  
  
“There weren’t any others, there was only Crowley.”  Castiel said, looking between the brothers.  
  
“How’d you get in this situation anyhow?” Sam asked.  
  
“Well, he’s drunk for one,” Dean said, shaking his head and lifting Castiel into his arms.  That was also good.  Dean was talking to him again and holding him.  Castiel leaned against him, closing his eyes.  
  
“Cas, are your eyes bleeding?” Sam asked, leaning in.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
There was a long silence after Castiel answered, and he finally opened his eyes, wiping at them.  
  
“Why are your eyes bleeding?” Dean asked.  
  
“I don’t know,” Castiel said, looking into Dean’s eyes and licking his lips.  He wanted so badly to kiss him but he didn’t dare.  Dean would probably start avoiding him again.  “Crowley called them Angel tears.”  
  
“Angel tears,” Dean said and his arms tightened protectively around Castiel.  
  
“I’m dizzy Dean,” Castiel admitted.  
  
“Yeah, let’s get him out of here,” Sam suggested, and Castiel was glad when the two of them began taking him away.  He didn’t want to be in Crowley’s place anymore.  
  
***  
  
When they got back to Bobby’s place, Castiel was feeling odd.  He was still a little dizzy, his stomach hurt, and he could hardly get his body to answer his direction.  It was a lucky thing Dean gripped him tightly and carried him all the way to the couch.  
  
“I see you’ve found him,” Bobby said gruffly from an arm chair.  
  
“Yeah, thanks Bobby,” Sam said.  He stood in the middle of the room watching Dean settling Cas.  He had a blank look on his face.  
  
“What’s wrong with him?” Bobby stood up from his chair.  The man’s eyes seemed to take all sorts of things in, and Castiel often suspected him of asking questions he already knew the answer to.  He had no idea if this was one of those times.  Thinking straight was still a pretty big challenge.  
  
“We think he’s drunk,” Sam said and Bobby came closer, leaning over Castiel as Dean tried to pull away.  
  
Castiel moaned and tried to keep Dean from leaving him.  
  
“Cut that out,” Dean said, “I’m not going far.”  
  
“Can angels even get drunk?”  Bobby asked.  
  
“I was going to ask you that,” Dean finally managed to pull away.  Castiel still didn’t like letting go of him, but he didn’t want to upset him either.  
  
“Huh,” Bobby looked him over, checked his pulse, looked into his eyes.  
  
“I am right here you know.”  Castiel pointed out.  
  
“It had never passed our mind ya might be,” Bobby answered offhanded, “So you want to tell us how you got this way?”  
  
“I drank a lot of scotch.”  
  
“How much scotch?” Dean asked, popping open a beer.  He had evidently wanted to get away just to go to the kitchen for the bottle.  
  
Castiel thought back.  The server had mentioned, as they had run out when he stopped, “Three, perhaps five and a half bottles.”  
  
Sam coughed and sat down in an armchair, “You aren’t sure between three and five bottles?”  
  
“No, they said but things are unclear.”  
  
“Yeah, I bet they are,” Bobby gave Dean a look that Castiel didn’t really understand.  
  
“Don’t look at me,” Dean said putting up his hands, “I wasn’t there.”  
  
Sam laughed.  
  
“What?”  Dean looked over at Sam.  
  
“I didn’t say anything,” Sam said quickly.  Bobby wandered back to his desk and returned to reading whatever he’d been looking at when they’d come in.  
  
“If he looks like he’s gonna puke get him to the bathroom.  I ain’t cleanin’ it up,” Bobby said and he didn’t say anything else.  
  
Sam and Dean both looked at Castiel’s face.  Neither of them said anything and he finally ventured, “I don’t feel ill.”  He didn’t feel right but in addition to that, “I don’t eat.”  He had consumed a single crunchy thing, but he didn’t think that counted as food.  
  
“I’m not sure it matters with that much liquor.  Have you ever gotten drunk before?”  Sam asked.  
  
“I’ve never consumed alcohol before.”  Castiel saw no reason to lie.  
  
“How do you feel?”  Sam worried more than the others.  Castiel closed his eyes.  
  
“I can’t think and I’m dizzy.”  
  
“Well, that’s what you get,” Dean said, patting his legs.  “Why’d you drink all that anyhow?”  
  
Castiel thought about that.  It was hard to answer.  He didn’t want to talk that much.  Closing his eyes he went over the feelings and thoughts that had made him keep drinking and came up with, “It seemed appropriate.”  
  
He could hear Sam shaking his head, the rustle of cloth.  Besides that he didn’t need human eyes to see.  No one said anything for a long stretch of time.  
  
“What made it seem appropriate?”  Dean finally asked.  
  
Castiel had been coasting about in his head to a dizzy feeling, seeing crazy swirling colors.  It felt a bit like flying.  There was an odd rush to the whole thing.  Then that question invaded and he opened his eyes.  It was nice to have Dean sitting so close, right against his legs.  It felt natural, as if they should always be that way.  
  
“I was feeling too much and thought it might help.”  
  
There was another long silence, then Sam said, “You two need to talk.”  
  
“Not right now,” Dean replied, “No way.”  
  
“Why not now?” Castiel wondered.  
  
“Because you’re drunk, and I won’t take advantage of you that way.  We’ll talk when all of you is in.”  
  
“You drink all the time,” Castiel said.  
  
“Yeah, a drink here and there.  Doesn’t mean I’m drunk.”  
  
“It’s more than that lately,” Sam said and Castiel almost regretted bringing it up.  He knew that Sam didn’t approve of Dean’s drinking habit and that since returning from Hell it had accelerated.  
  
“I’m not walking around drunk, Sammy.”  
  
“Can you idjits take it somewhere else already?  I’m trying to figure something out here,” Bobby said.  All three of them exchanged looks.  
  
“Yeah, we should get back to the hotel.  You can sober up on the way,” Dean said, finishing his beer and helping Cas up.  They tried a few steps of walking before Dean lifted him into his arms and carried him to the car.  
  
***  
  
Castiel slept most of the way to the hotel, though he woke twice to heave out the Impala door onto the side of the road.  Bobby was probably really glad they’d left.  Sam handed him a bottle of water to rinse his mouth with, and Castiel added throwing up to the list of human things he didn’t like doing.  He hadn’t seen Sam, Dean or Bobby get sick from liquor so he had a feeling that there was a way to drink without ending up sick like that.  When he asked about it he got two different answers.  
  
“Drink less,” Sam said.  
  
“Work up a tolerance,” Dean said.  
  
The two of them argued a bit then about whether Dean’s suggestion was a good idea or not.  Eventually, the tunes went up, and the talking disappeared.  
  
At the hotel, Castiel followed them in feeling much more himself.  He’d expended a certain amount of energy in the moments after Dean had freed him.  The erratic release of power had taken a lot out of him.  Between that and the effects of the alcohol he’d been quite a mess.  Emotionally he was still a mess, but that was a different thing.  It didn’t take long for Dean to turn on him.  “Okay, talk.”  
  
Castiel did.  He went over the basics of what had happened although he didn’t get far.  
  
“Just to clarify, you thought it was a good idea to go drinking with a demon?”  Dean interrupted.  
  
“No, I believed it to be a bad idea.”  
  
“So… why’d you do it Cas?”  
  
Castiel shrugged at the question, though the rise in Dean’s voice made him uncomfortable.  
  
“I thought I’d already done some pretty terrible things trying to get you to…” Castiel studied the carpet.  It was old, brown and had cigarette burns in places.  He shrugged, “…To pay attention to me.”  
  
“Yeah, well… that doesn’t mean you should make deals with demons.  You know they can’t be trusted!”  Dean put his hands on Castiel’s shoulders, and Castiel looked up.  His eyes met Dean’s green ones, and he saw a fierce look there.  He wasn’t really sure what to think of it.  
  
“I’m aware they can’t be trusted.”  Castiel said.  
  
“You never, ever, ever get drunk around anyone or anything that can’t be trusted.  Do you understand me?  Never!”  Dean punctuated the word by shaking Castiel.  He looked angry.  Castiel knew it had been a mistake but was Dean mad at him again?  Would he make him go away like he had before?  
  
“What Dean means,” Sam said in much calmer tones, “is that he cares about you and he doesn’t want to see you end up enslaved by a demon.”  
  
“Damn straight.”  Dean stared into Castiel’s eyes, and Castiel wished he could read Dean like Sam did.  
  
“I’m sorry.  At the time I didn’t think you ever wanted to see me again.”  
  
Dean closed his eyes briefly then shook his head, “Yeah I…”  
  
He nodded then, and his hands slid down Castiel’s arms.  As soon as they moved Castiel missed them on his shoulders, their warmth, the way they had gripped him.  Even when Dean had seemed angry he’d liked having Dean’s hands there.  “I’m sorry about that, Cas.  I was angry, but you’re important to me, you’re… family.  That was no way to treat family.”  
  
By the end of that Sam was grinning at the back of Dean, evidently thrilled.  Castiel noticed, but he was also busy with his own feelings.  “Like family?”  Family was more important than anything to Dean.  “I am?”  
  
“Yeah, so I’m going to try to understand this… thing that’s going on with you and maybe me, okay?  Just, you might have to be a little patient I don’t really like talking about…” he gestured with his hands for a while before coming up with, “…This stuff.”  
  
“What stuff?” Castiel asked, frowning.  
  
“You know…” Dean said, shrugging.  
  
Castiel didn’t know.  He had a feeling he wasn’t supposed to ask though, so he found himself looking to Sam for an explanation.  
  
“Anything emotional,” Sam said.  
  
“Oh, yes, I know about that.”  He put a hand on Dean’s face.  “We don’t need to talk about it.”  There were probably other ways to sort things out, slower ways.  Before he could suggest that though, Sam spoke.  
  
“Yeah, you do.  Both of you need to talk about it.  If you don’t do it for each other than just… do it for me, okay.  I don’t think I can stand watching the results of another talk avoided here.  In fact, I’m taking off and you two had better talk.  If you don’t I swear I’ll…” he shook his head, obviously fumbling for a good enough threat, “…I’ll refuse to leave until you do.  Whatever you decide is fine with me but having things up in the air like this is not.  So either you’re having a relationship or not and I’m okay either way by the way, as long as you talk and agree.”  He reached for the door and opened it.  With a nod at each of them he said,  “I’ll knock.”  Then he was gone.  
  
“Okay,” Dean turned away and Castiel’s hand slipped from his cheek.  “Well then…”  He looked at the mini fridge, “You want a beer?”  
  
He was alone with Dean, that counted as a safe place to drink or even get drunk according to Dean.  Of course Castiel didn’t really want to get drunk at that moment.  He’d had enough of that no more than eighteen hours before.  “Yes.”  A beer would not make him drunk.  He was pretty sure of that considering how much scotch it had taken.  
  
Dean opened a couple beers and handed one over.  “Sam says it all has something to do with a bond.”  
  
Castiel nodded, “It began when I pulled you from perdition.”  
  
***  
  
As soon as Sam opened the front door of the hotel, he knew there was something out there.  His hand went to his knife and rested on it.  He began to scan the parking lot, eyes landing on a man he’d seen only briefly, wrestling with Cas on the bed.  So, a demon.  
  
“Heads up,” the demon said and threw something at Sam.  
  
He should have dodged it, or ducked back inside.  In fact he’d been about to do just that but for some reason Sam reached out and caught the thing that had been thrown.  When he touched it, he felt something come over him, a perfectly natural attraction.  After all, wasn’t the vessel the demon was in attractive?  He looked down to see what had been thrown.  It was a very unusual stone, black with red streaks throughout, just the right size to fit in a person’s hand.  
  
“Do you like it?”  The demon was right in front of him then, and Sam could feel the heat between them.  That was disturbing.  When had he ever found a demon attractive?  It must be an attraction to the vessel, right?  
  
Sam tried to separate vessel from demon in his mind, but it was impossible to do.  He just plain wanted the man.  No, he reminded himself, not a man, a demon, but it didn’t help.  
  
“The name is Crowley and you have to be Sam Winchester.”  Crowley tipped his head studying Sam, and Sam felt the weight of that gaze.  Would Crowley like what he saw?  Please let him like what he saw.  
  
“What’s wrong with me?” Sam asked.  
  
“Nothing at all, what could be wrong?”  Crowley’s hand reached out and caressed Sam’s, removing the stone he’d tossed earlier from it.  “Although of the two your brother is more my type, no matter.  I chose you.”  Then under his breath he added, “Mostly because you came through the front door first.”  
  
Sam didn’t like that at all.  He immediately had a deep desire to prove he was the better brother and the most attractive, as well as the best in bed.  “Dean only likes being a top.”  Had that just come out of his mouth?  What the hell?  It was right about then that it occurred to Sam he wasn’t right.  Something was wrong.  He would never share that kind of information about his brother.  Never being a broad term meaning not normally since he just had.  
  
“Is that so?  So you are a very tall bottom sort of guy?”  
  
“If you want me to be.”  
  
“That helps a great deal actually,” Crowley said with a smile that went right to Sam’s dick.  
  
“Great,” Sam was looking down at Crowley with a big grin, wanting whatever he wanted.  The situation was so messed up that even as he pursued the demon a part of his mind was breaking, or at least cracking under the pressure.  
  
“No.”  Crowley said.  
  
“No what?”  Sam asked, looking all around them for some sort of a problem.  
  
“No, I will not lean up to kiss you.”  Crowley pointed at a stone bench in front of the hotel.  “Go over there and sit down.”  Without hesitation Sam followed the instruction.  Crowley was right behind him, and once Sam was sitting the demon bent over him and started kissing him.  After they had been kissing for a long while Crowley pulled back, “Well, at least you’re good for that.  I believe we should continue this in my bedroom, what do you think, Sam?”  
  
Sam liked the way Crowley said his name.  It was somewhere between a word and a growl.  “Yeah,” he said, knowing it was a very bad idea to go anywhere with Crowley.  “A bed would be good.”    
  
It would even their heights and allow Crowley the sort of pressing advantage that he seemed to want.  Never mind that Sam had never had sex with any man other than his brother.  That just didn’t seem to matter.  Sex with Crowley struck Sam as a brilliant idea, and nothing sounded better to him.  That was a problem, and he knew it.  He didn’t care enough to refuse it.  
  
A pleased and rather evil smile curled on Crowley’s lips, and he moved his hand to do something, something he did not quite complete because a shower of tiny white feathers began to fall from the sky.  Crowley let go of Sam and ran for the cover of the overhang on the front of the hotel.  Once he was under it he looked back at Sam.  
  
“Well isn’t that lovely, Angel Wings is officially taken by someone else.”  His eyes went to Sam, “I will be at the Haunted Halloween Tour in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, find me.”  Then he ran off into the parking lot, and Sam could hear each feather that hit him sizzle as he ran.  
  
“Hey,” Sam stood, “I can help you.”    
  
He ran after Crowley, only to see him open a car, fling out the guy at the wheel and drive off in it.  
  
***  
  
Dean listened to Cas.  He paced.  He asked questions and he paced some more.  “So this bond, it’s something that happened and no one really knows why?”  
  
“That’s correct,” Cas agreed.    
  
Cas’ eyes followed Dean, and he could feel them.  They were a constant presence that comforted him even though he thought it should probably creep him out, and Sam had said it was fine.  He’d told them he didn’t care whether they were in a relationship or not, just to make up their minds one way or another.  That was hard for him to believe.  Something like this could change things between them forever.  Cas wasn’t like the women, nothing like them.  Women were wonderful.  He loved being with them, but it wasn’t like doing things with Sam.  Sam was special, a secret, just between the two of them.  
  
“You saw me with Sam.”  Or perhaps not as much of a secret anymore.  
  
“Yes, I’ve already told you…”  
  
Dean held up his hand to stop Cas from saying it.  “Yeah, well it’s taking some time to sink in so just… have a little patience, okay?”  He wasn’t ready for this, was he?  Would he ever be?  Dean nodded, but he wasn’t nodding at anything.  It was like movement was all he had.  If he stopped moving he would have to face the facts and the facts were…  He went completely still.  Yes, he had felt the tug towards Cas, the attraction, had felt it from the very beginning and it terrified him.  All he wanted to do was run away because the emotions, all things he normally stuffed down until they disappeared, kept bubbling up and trying to get out.  
  
Cas went to him and put a hand on his shoulder, “Are you alright?”  He was frowning, obviously expecting to hear something other than the instinctual yes.  
  
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Dean tried to stuff it all back inside, the desire, need, feelings.  He remembered the kiss, outside of Bobby’s place and the way it had felt so right.  How could it be?  Castiel was… not even really human and yeah, he seemed to be a good guy.  He was even like family, that was true, but the idea of being with him in any long term way...    
  
“Cas, I don’t think I can,” Dean said and then, in total contradiction, he grabbed hold of the angel, and kissed him.  He pressed his lips hard against Cas’, slipped his tongue into Cas’ welcoming mouth.  The kiss felt desperate, on the edge of frantic.  
  
Everything that Dean had been trying to stuff back inside of himself burst free.  It was like a tornado or a monsoon, cutting loose, spinning out of control.  He was crying, laughing, clinging to Cas, pressing him against a wall.  He wasn’t even aware of where in the room they had ended up.  He only knew emotion, feelings, desire, as he stripped off Cas’ trench coat, and dropped it to the floor.  Then Cas was pulling off Dean’s top layer, and there was another probing, desperate kiss.  
  
Cas’ hand was hot on his skin, and now Dean was the one pushed against something, a chest of drawers maybe, the handles poking into his back.  He dimly noticed them as he pulled the tie from Cas’ neck and tossed it away.  “Cas,” his voice was half growl, “Cas.”    
  
The whole thing felt so right as he heard a button pop, and felt it sting as it hit his arm.  Then Cas’ chest was bare, and he was touching it, running his hands up and down.  His mouth left Cas’ and traveled down his neck.  The soft sounds that emitted from Cas made his blood heat and his body ready.  
  
This was right, this was the way things should be, and he couldn’t think why he hadn’t known that before.  Actually he couldn’t think at all which had to be why he was suddenly on the floor, pinning Cas down, licking every bit of exposed skin he could find.  Then he was wrestling with the last of their clothes, and Cas ended up on top of him, his hands all over Dean all at once, touching him everywhere leaving him shivering and desperate.  
  
“Want you, Cas, need you,” he heard himself say.  He knew it was true, but hearing the words and their neediness almost hurt.  He just barely remembered not to try to do this without any lube, which was what sent him on a frenzied crawl across the floor, groping through a drawer, pursued closely by Cas who crawled on top of him kissing and rubbing against him.  
  
“Dean, please,” the words ran directly across his heart, like he was somehow torturing Cas by not being inside of him right that instant.  He opened the lube and dumped it on his hand, felt it drip all over the place and didn’t care.  He’d squeezed too hard, for all he knew half the bottle was on them.  Reaching out he slid his hand over his dick, then shifted to get fingers inside of Cas.  Lube they had but patience, there was none of that.  It was Cas who pulled Dean’s fingers out, and put Dean’s dick inside of himself instead, lowering himself onto it.  
  
Dean gasped, his back pressed into the corner between the side table and the bed, neck at a slightly awkward angle.  He didn’t care, because he was buried inside of Cas and Cas was moving on top of him, just like he had done this before and knew what to do.  Moaning and calling out to Dean, Cas’ pace picked up until there was no thought for Dean except that this was amazing.  Then the emotions made his mind go completely blank.  He came, screaming out, and moments later Cas did too.  Like a scene from some sort of weird fantasy flick, a shower of tiny feathers fell all around them.  The feathers tickled as they landed, and Dean pulled Cas into his arms holding him close.  
  
Then Dean realized that the position he was in was really uncomfortable.  As he shifted his eyes caught randomly on the bottle of lube tossed to the side still open, leaking into the hotel carpet in a dark puddle.  He moaned, “Cas, could we maybe move to a bed?”  Immediately the two of them were on one of the hotel beds.  
  
“Is that better Dean?”  
  
He couldn’t quite manage to get upset about the jolt of the movement.  Angel mojo was bizarre stuff, at least he thought so.  “Yeah, this is better.”  It really was.  He could feel the connection between them more than ever but somehow he also felt better, light as if many of his burdens had been taken from him somehow.  That wasn’t going to last.  While it did, he might as well enjoy it.  
  
***  
  
For the first time ever Castiel slept.  It was a strange thing, not being awake.  He only knew it happened because he had closed his eyes and hours had passed.  When he opened his eyes and found himself in bed with Dean he didn’t really want to move.  He felt good and so complete.  There was a general feeling of content and something else.  
  
“Cas?”  Dean looked at him, “I feel so awake all of a sudden.  How long have I been asleep?”  
  
“Three hours.”  That was it.  He felt charged, as if he’d gone to Heaven and returned, full of energy.  As he looked at Dean he saw something else, a glow that was clearly angelic about him.  Castiel blinked.  Dean was human.  Human’s were human, they had souls, lived on earth, had abundant creativity and short lives.  Angels had grace, lived in heaven, were really not creative and lived eternally.  That was assuming they weren’t murdered and that was so rare.  Angels were hard to kill and there was a very good reason for that.  God was done.  He was no longer creating so the number of angels would never grow again, unless He changed His mind.  
  
“Three hours?  I can’t believe I feel so awake.”  Dean sat up, taking Cas with him.  “You’re amazing Cas.”  
  
“I’m fairly sure it had something to do with the bond.”  Castiel replied honestly.  It had been amazing though.  “I would like to do that again.”  
  
“Believe me we will,” Dean said, kissing him.  “I’m actually not sure why I fought it so hard.”    
  
He let go of Castiel and got out of bed, stretching.  Then he turned and looked at Castiel.  “Are you going to get upset if I… with Sam… if we… you know?”  
  
“Have sex?”  
  
Dean nodded agreement.  He seemed very nervous.  
  
Oddly the idea didn’t bother Castiel anymore.  When he’d seen them together it had hurt so badly but now, even thinking back, it didn’t hurt.  “I don’t think it bothers me.”  
  
“You don’t think so?  Is that a go ahead and do whatever you want whenever you want to or more of a I might get mad but I’m not telling you sort of thing?”  Dean asked.  
  
“I’m not sure, right now it feels as if I don’t mind.”  Castiel thought it would have to be experimented with, to see what would happen.  
  
“So we’ll just see when it happens?”  
  
“I’ll attempt not to make a scene,” Castiel said and then felt the need to add, “I will not kidnap him again.”  
  
“Good, that’s good,” Dean said giving him a look.  Castiel wasn’t sure of the meaning of the look, but it hinted that he’d said something strange.  Since he did that all the time he wasn’t really surprised.  
  
“I’m surprised Sam hasn’t returned.”  
  
Dean looked at the door, “He’ll probably wait till morning,” Dean said with a shrug.  “We might as well enjoy ourselves, how about a shower and then see what’s on tv?”  
  
“I don’t require a shower.  Angels…” Dean cut Castiel off before he could finish.  
  
“Don’t tell me, I don’t want to know.  You can come to keep me company then.”  
  
Castiel found the shower to be wet but pleasant enough.  He liked the way it felt when Dean patted him dry with the towel.  He also enjoyed the touching and the occasional kisses.  They went out to the television in towels and didn’t bother to dress, just curled up against each other and lost themselves in the fantasy lives that flashed across the screen.  Which meant that they were mostly naked when Sam walked in.  
  
He stopped in the doorway and stared at them.  “Well, that answers that,” he said, turning away to look at the beds.  He frowned, “I knew we shouldn’t have gotten that lube, it leaks out too easily.”  
  
“Uh, Sam?”  Dean said.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Could you shut the door?”  
  
Sam looked at the door he was holding open.  “Oh, yeah, sure, sorry.  We’ve got more lube, right?”  
  
“Yeah,” Dean agreed, glancing at Castiel, but Castiel had no idea what Sam was thinking.  Perhaps he was wanting Dean because Castiel had been with him last night, and Sam had been who knew where.  Dean looked at Sam again, “You need some for something?”  
  
“No, not yet.”  Sam turned back, “I guess I don’t need it until Halloween.  That’s a long time to wait.”  With a deep frown he sat down on the unused bed.  
  
“What’s happening on Halloween Sammy?”  
  
“The Haunted Halloween Tour in Tuscaloosa, Alabama,” Sam replied as if that made the need for lube totally obvious.  Castiel sat up straighter and looked past Dean at Sam.  He wasn’t as familiar with the other man as his brother, but even to him this sounded off.  
  
“Really, well that sounds like just your sort of thing.  Is this a case or something?” Dean asked  
  
Sam shook his head, “I just have to be there.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“It’s the only way I know to see him again.”  
  
Castiel exchanged another look with Dean.  
  
“See who?”  Castiel asked, not sure he wanted to know but someone had to ask.  They couldn’t just ignore it.  
  
“Crowley,”  Sam said grimacing.  
  
“Crowley?  The demon who was trying to enslave Cas, Crowley?”  Dean laughed a halting laugh with no humor in it.  He waited for a little bit.  “Okay, I give, what does that have to do with lube?”  
  
Sam swallowed audibly and looked away.  He got up and walked to the fridge pulling out a bottled water, opened it and downed a full gulp.  “I… I can’t help it Dean he’s just so… hot and when he kissed me…”  
  
Dean was up and across the room shaking Sam’s shoulders, “You kissed him?  You kissed a demon?  You kissed Crowley?  This didn’t have to do with making any deals right Sam, I mean you didn’t agree to do anything in exchange for anything else, implied or stated?”  
  
“No, I’m not stupid.”  
  
“You aren’t stupid?  How can you say you kissed a demon and you aren’t stupid in the same minute?”  
  
Castiel had been watching the exchange with great concern, slowly putting things together into a picture he didn’t care for at all.  “It must really exist.”  
  
Dean let go of Sam and turned to look at Castiel, “What must really exist?”  
  
“The passion stone, I thought afterwards that perhaps he made it up to trap me.”  
  
Dean looked back at Sam, “You think Crowley used this stone on Sam?”  
  
Castiel nodded.  That was exactly what he thought.  
  
“Why?”  
  
“We were together but Sam was alone so he made a good target.  He’s doing it to get back at you, for saving me.  This is my fault.  I must deal with it.”  He would have left, but when Dean reached out to stop him it actually tugged his grace.  Castiel looked at him, startled.  How could that happen?  How could Dean possibly pull him back by his grace?  Dean shouldn’t even be able to touch it.  
  
“Don’t leave.  Whatever’s happening we’ll handle it together.  I don’t want to have to rescue you from Crowley’s bed ever again.” Dean said.  
  
Sam moaned.  
  
“What’s wrong with you?” Dean asked.  
  
“Crowley’s bed,” Sam said, desire evident in his tone, “do you think the spell Bobby used before would take me to him?”  
  
“The spell was focussed on Cas, so no,” Dean gave his brother a smoldering look.  “You do understand that this is all because he’s used some sort of magic stone on you, right?  There is not actually anything hot about Crowley.”  
  
“I know that in my head,” Sam said, “but I just can’t stop wanting him.  I spent most of the night trying to find him again.”  
  
Dean shook his head, a look of disgust curling his upper lip.  “What, is he playing hard to get?”  
  
“He ran off when the feathers fell.  I think they were dangerous to him.”  
  
Castiel had thought that only he’d seen the feathers.  Dean hadn’t mentioned them and to know that Sam had seen them, how far had they fallen?  “You saw the feathers?”  
  
“Yeah,” Sam said, “Really small and soft?  They were everywhere and they didn’t disappear right away either.  It took hours, two or three.”  
  
“Oh,” Castiel considered that.  He was pretty sure completing the bond had caused them, but he didn’t understand why they were so wide spread.  “Yes, something that angelic would take away his powers and might even be harmful.  He would have evacuated to an area outside the sphere of influence.”  
  
“How far would he need to go?”  Dean asked.  
  
“I’m not sure.  I’m not really sure how far the feathers travelled.  I hadn’t thought they were outside of the room at all.”  
  
***  
  
They were dressed and trying to figure out how far the feather effect had been seen when Bobby called.  It was a lucky thing that on camera or video the feathers showed like snow, so instead of a freak feather storm local news was reporting it as a freak snow storm.  Still, people had memories, and they had seen feathers, not just outside but inside too.  
  
Dean was the one to take the call, but Castiel heard the entire thing.  At full power, he heard pretty much whatever he wanted to hear, and he was definitely at full power.  It was the strangest thing.  Generally when angels spent too much time earthbound their powers would slowly deplete, but it was like the rule no longer applied.  He was at a loss to explain it.  
  
“Hey Bobby, what’s up?”  Dean asked.  
  
“I’ve got myself a local situation here, was wondering if you boys could stop in.  Are you far?”  Bobby asked.  
  
“Maybe five hours out.  What’s the problem?”  
  
“I’d rather tell you when you got here,” Bobby sounded annoyed, and Castiel suspected that he didn’t want to ask for help at all.  The man was extremely self-reliant, anyone who encountered him was bound to notice that fairly quickly.  “You looking into the thing with the feathers?”  
  
“Not exactly…” Dean looked at Castiel and said, “It’s more like we caused it.”  
  
“Sounds interesting.”  
  
“No, not really,” Dean looked at the ground, “We’ll jump in the car and head your way.  You can tell us more when we get there.”  
  
The two of them hung up, and in short order, all of them were in the car.  Castiel took his customary seat in the back figuring that Sam needed the leg room.  
  
“I should have let you ride up front,” Sam said about five minutes into the drive.  
  
“I’m fine back here,” Castiel said, and Dean shook his head.  
  
“You just keep sitting right there Sammy, it’s your seat and I don’t think it’s good for us to take our eyes off you now that you have the hots for a demon.”  
  
“What do you think I’m gonna do?”  
  
“That’s what I don’t want to find out the hard way.”  Dean said, and Castiel knew where he was coming from.  He was worried about Sam himself.  Perhaps Bobby would have some information on the passion stone, and they could help him while getting a bit of help themselves.  
  
Sam slept most of the trip.  Evidently he really had spent the night trying to find Crowley.  Castiel listened to Dean’s music, trying to find what made it so special to Dean.  His mind wandered over all of the music he’d heard during his existence, and he tried to connect the differences as well as the similarities between Dean’s tunes and the ones through the ages.  
  
As they got out of the car, Bobby met them.  That was unusual since he hardly ever came outside unless he was working on a car.  Bobby had been reading on the front porch though, and Castiel pretty much took that to mean the man had been waiting for them.  He felt a somewhat familiar presence, but looking around he didn’t see anything or anyone other than Bobby.  
  
“Something is not right,” Castiel leaned in to tell Dean.  
  
“You’re telling me.” Bobby said.  He shook his head and gestured at the house, “It’s getting impossible to sleep at night.”  
  
“What’s wrong?”  Sam asked, brow creased.  
  
“If I knew what it was I’d fix it.  There’s something in the house, moving things around but mostly hitting me around when I’m trying to sleep.”  
  
“A spirit?”  Dean asked.  
  
“No it ain’t no spirit.  You think I couldn’t handle something like that on my own?”  Bobby led them in and offered around drinks, eyeing Castiel as if his presence seemed odd.  It probably did.  “You want a beer?”  
  
Castiel nodded and accepted one.  If he was going to spend most of his time around Dean, he thought that it might be good to occasionally participate in similar activities.  
  
“So what do you know?”  Dean asked, sitting on the arm of the sofa and looking at Bobby.  
  
“I told you what I know, it’s none of the above, okay?  If something like it had been around someone I talked to before I’d’ve thought of it by now.  So what is it?  You tell me.”  
  
Castiel looked around the room.  There was still something he couldn’t place, something off, something different.  
  
“Let’s start from the beginning Bobby,” Dean said, “it’s gotta be something and if anyone can figure out what it’s you.”  So Bobby told them everything, from the beginning.  
  
***  
  
Dean sat down on the bed, still almost completely alert.  He’d been less hungry lately and now, when he should have been exhausted, he was wide awake.  He looked at Castiel, who had been very quiet since their arrival.  That wasn’t unusual really, but there was something thoughtful about the silence, like the angel was trying to work something out.  
  
“What are you thinking, Cas?”  
  
“There is something familiar about this presence.  I don’t know what.”  
  
“Now would be the perfect time to figure it out,” Dean said.  “Do you think it’s related to demons, or angels?”  
  
“I don’t know.”  Castiel finally came over and sat down.  “I could be trying to find out about the passion stone.  You know angels do not require sleep.”  
  
“I’m not really tired myself.  Let’s get a stack of books and see what we can find for Bobby or for Sam.”    
  
Dean and Cas went downstairs and selected books from various stacks, then went back to the bedroom and got to work.  Most of the time Dean was reading, but sometimes his mind drifted to Bobby and the way he’d been eyeing Cas all night.  Some sort of explanation should probably be given, but he wasn’t sure what to say.  Honestly, he wasn’t sure why Cas was putting up with him.  He’d half expected the angel to be gone before he’d finished telling him to stay.  
  
It was while he was daydreaming that it started.  He heard thumps coming from Bobby’s room and stood up, heading over right away, gun in hand.  He had it loaded with salt since the thing really sounded like a ghost.  Invisibility was unusual, but violence and liking the night time were standard for ghosts.  It had to be something ghostly no matter how loudly Bobby swore it wasn’t.  He ran into the room and stopped as Bobby was literally tossed from the bed into him.  By the time he was catching the man, Bobby was wide awake.  Castiel peered past them into the silent room.  
  
“You okay?” Dean asked.  
  
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Bobby moved away from Dean once he was steady, back into the room.  His eyes darted everywhere, but Dean had already seen the room and there was nothing visible in it.  
  
“What the Hell?”  He began examining the bed and surrounding area, switching on the light first.  Castiel had moved into the center of the room, his eyes were closed and he was breathing deeply.  
  
“You smell something?”  Bobby asked.  
  
“Yes, cardamon, nutmeg, mustard seed,” Cas’ eyes flew open.  “Where’s Sam?”  Then with a blink he was gone.  
  
“Shit,” Dean dropped the blanket and ran to the stairs.  He had no idea what was going on, but if Cas was worried about where Sam was so was he.  They hadn’t been thinking when they’d settled in for the night.  Sam still had that thing for Crowley, and they were at Bobby’s with every spell and spell component at their fingertips.  
  
He arrived in the candlelit living room in time to hear Cas say, “That would be a very bad idea, Sam.”  
  
“I agree with Cas,” Dean said looking around, “What are you doing?”  
  
Bobby came into things a bit more slowly, as Sam was answering.  
  
“I have to see him, Dean.  I can’t help it.”  
  
“What are you idjits into this time?”  Bobby asked, then his eyes widened, “And what the hell are you summoning a demon into my living room for?”  
  
“Nothing,” Dean crossed the room to Sam and started snuffing out candles.  Then he rubbed away some chalk lines and dumped a bowl of herbs in the fireplace.  Sam fought him on that one so half the herbs scattered on the floor as the two of them wrestled each other for the bowl.  
  
“You don’t understand,” Sam said, tone miserable.  
  
“I think I understand really well Sammy, and no.  You know this is wrong.”  
  
“It burns, I can’t stop thinking about him.  Dean, this is what I want and it seems so reasonable sometimes I just…” Sam finally gave up the bowl which was empty anyhow.  “It’s not really that different from you and Cas.”  
  
“Really?  That’s your new theory here?  You can’t see that’s a whole lot of crazy?”  Dean stood up and set the bowl on the table.  “Because Cas is not a demon, you know?  There isn’t any passion stone involved in our relationship either.  I mean I would remember if he ever threw one to me, sort of like you remembering that Crowley did.  Are you hearing any differences here yet?  Do I need to bring up the fact that demons are evil and angels are just dicks?”  
  
“I have demon blood running through my veins,” Sam said.  “How do you know it isn’t just that?  The stone might have nothing to do with it.  I could be attracted to demons because in a way I am one.”  
  
“What the hell?” Bobby asked.  
  
Dean shook his head, “You’re not a demon, not even close and your blood is human.  A little bit of blood doesn’t change what you are.”  
  
“He’s right, Sam,” Castiel said, “I would know if you were a demon.  You aren’t.”  
  
“I can’t stop thinking of him,” Sam curled in on himself on the floor, moaning softly.  “I need him.”  
  
Dean swore several different ways as he wrestled with the whole thing internally.  They could allow Sam to summon Crowley, and then confront him about the stone but it seemed dangerous.  First they needed some way to deal with Crowley not just contain him.  They needed to know how the stone worked or Crowley would lie and somehow make off with Sam.  Then Sam would… he cringed inwardly at the thought of Sam having sex with the demon.  
  
“Just what is going on here?” Bobby asked.  
  
“It’s a long story,” Dean said, looking at Bobby and realizing they probably should have told him about all of it right away.  
  
“I got time and the sooner you start talkin’ the less of my time you’re wastin’.”  
  
Dean nodded, “Yeah, okay, well there’s this stone called the passion stone.”  
  
“I am going to take another look around for Bobby’s attacker,” Cas interrupted, and Dean nodded agreement.  It might actually be easier to tell this without Cas right there, maybe Cas knew that.    
  
“Sure.”  
  
***  
  
Castiel returned to the bedroom, but he didn’t look around at all, he didn’t need to.  He’d caught sight of a large fuzzy white back paw disappearing through the wall and realized exactly what they were dealing with.  What he didn’t know was who it belonged to.  Going to Heaven would be the easiest way to find out, but he was reluctant to do that.  There were other ways.  
  
He made a call to his garrison and spoke with them.  There were only a few angels after him who might think to send a Heaven Cat and also have access to one.  Then he had to consider who would send that Cat after Dean’s friends, and it was easy enough to come up with a suspect, Gabriel.  No one was more of a prankster, and he would see Castiel’s decision as a provocation rather than a life choice.  Castiel summoned the other angel to the room.  
  
Gabriel was dressed in shorts and a flower-print button down.  On his feet were a pair of flip flops, and he carried a strange multicolored frozen drink.  “Did you have to?  I was just beginning to have fun.”  
  
“You should call off your cat.”  Castiel said, staring at him.  He’d always had one specific problem with Gabriel.  It wasn’t that he had fun, or that he had such strange ideas or even that he had left them.  Gabriel never stepped in and took any sort of stand, but was always quick to accuse others of causing bickering among his brothers.  That was Castiel’s problem with Gabriel.  It was simple, but Gabriel never changed.  He just got worse.  If Castiel was causing trouble than what were the rest of them doing?  
  
“I don’t really want to, he’s enjoying himself, I’m enjoying myself so why stop?”  Gabriel came closer.  “You’ve made a mess of things you know?  No one even knows what to think of this bond you’ve forged, the way it’s changed you, the way it’s changed him.  It’s unnatural.”  
  
“How has it changed Dean?”  Castiel knew it had, but he’d been afraid to look at it too closely.  He didn’t trust taking Dean to any angel and having them look him over.  There was too much controversy regarding their bond.  
  
“You must have noticed, neither one of you are the same.  Many of our siblings say you’ve become an abomination.”  Gabriel peered into his eyes.  “You should have listened and broken the bond while you could, it’s not natural for an angel to have such a bond with a human.”  
  
“If it’s so unnatural than why did it happen with no power applied?  I don’t think you’re correct.”  
  
Gabriel shrugged and backed off, “Well, it isn’t my problem.  No one is talking about hunting me down.  All you’ve done is rile them up.”  
  
“No, all I’ve done is be with the person I love.  Of everyone I would think you could understand the decision I made.  You just don’t want to try.”  He half expected the angel to imprison him, or send him away somewhere but Gabriel didn’t.  “You’re treating me differently.”  
  
“I’d love to stay and chit-chat brother, but I have places to be, so if you don’t mind.”  
  
Castiel reached out and put a hand on Gabriel’s shoulder, a familiarity he wouldn’t normally allow himself.  “No, I’m asking you to call off the cat.  If you don’t I’ll have to banish it.  You know what that will do to it.”  
  
Gabriel frowned, “If I could I would…”  Then he rolled his eyes, “Yes, fine, it was getting boring anyhow.”  He clicked his fingers once, and Castiel felt the cat’s presence depart.  Then he clicked them again, and Gabriel was gone, leaving behind the faint scent of coconut oil.  
  
***  
  
“So some rogue angel sent a cat after Bobby because of our bond?” Dean asked, voice filled with doubt.  “A cat?”  
  
“Not a normal cat, a Heaven Cat.  They are generally used to fight hell hounds.”  Castiel replied, looking at Bobby.  “I apologize for not figuring it out sooner.”  
  
“Yer sure the thing is gone?”  
  
“Yes,” Castiel nodded.  He didn’t think Gabriel would try the same thing twice, and there had been an odd hesitation in Gabriel that made him wonder even more about the completed bond.  It was like Gabriel had struck at someone he feared and then run off, but there was no reason for the archangel to fear him.  Gabriel was at least three times more powerful than he was.  
  
“Now that it’s resolved,” Sam said, “I think we should go see Crowley.  I mean look into how I can see him.  That is… the passion stone, see about it.”  
  
Castiel still felt Sam’s mental state was his fault.  He looked at Dean.  “I believe I can handle Crowley if you will just allow me to go…”  
  
“No,” Dean said, taking Castiel’s hand.  “We need to have a plan.  He almost enslaved you and I don’t want any of us ending up under his power.”  
  
“Good idea,” Bobby said passing around books, “let’s get to reading.”  
  
Dean and Castiel took turns keeping an eye on Sam who tried to break away every now and then, wanting to find the demon.  The good thing was that although their frustration with him grew his desire seemed to stay at an even level.  
  
“I might have something,” Bobby said three days later.    
  
Castiel had been needing sleep, about three hours of it a night.  If he didn’t get it he lost power until he did.  It was a strange thing.  Dean had not been needing much sleep, in fact he slept about the same amount as Castiel and woke from it refreshed.  
  
“What do you have?” Dean asked.  
  
“Angel bonds, there’s nothing in here like what you two have, but this book is all about them.  It says that the forging and completion of a bond changes both parties.  They have the thing Crowley was trying to do,” Bobby passed the book over to Dean.  “If he’d finished, Cas here would have become attuned to the communications of hell as well as heaven.  His wings would have gotten burnt edges, his halo would have turned to thorns, and his vision would be forever tinted red.  At least according to the book.”  
  
Dean stared at the pages for a while and looked up, “Crowley would have gained the ability to fly?”  
  
“It isn’t as if he needs it,” Castiel said frowning, “unless it would allow him to go to Heaven.”  He reached for the book and took it, scanning the contents.  
  
“I have something too,” Sam said, “but I’m not sure I want to tell you.”  Then he shook his head, “No, I mean here.”  He handed the book to Bobby pointing at a passage, “I think that’s the stone.”  
  
Bobby took it and read for about twenty minutes as Sam paced behind him.  “Yeah, this is what you need.  You can locate the stone using a device, I’ll make you one.  When you get near it the thing’ll make a high pitched noise.  Then to free Sam you’ll have to destroy it.”  
  
“How do we do that?”  Dean asked.  
  
Castiel was listening, but he was also considering the information he’d gained about angelic bonds.  There were two really important pieces of information there.  A complete bond caused base changes in both parties, so the changes in him and Dean were definitely because of the bond.  The changes generally added strength or abilities, though some added weakness as well.  Most of the weaknesses had to do with both of them experiencing what happened to the other in some form.  The other important thing though was that an angel could have only one bond.  Now that Castiel was bound to Dean he could be bound to no one else.  
  
“True love,” Bobby answered.  
  
Castiel looked up.  “That’s not a problem.  How is the true love applied?”  
  
Bobby stared at him for a few moments before he said, “The individuals sharing true love must both touch the stone and it will crumble to dust, freeing the person it has imprisoned.”  
  
Dean was nodding his head.  “Great, so, you make the device and we’ll get to work on our costumes.”  
  
Sam’s eyes snapped to Dean, “What costumes?”  
  
Dean took out an envelope he’d gotten in the mail the day before.  “I sent for our tickets to the Haunted Tour.”  He pulled out four orange tickets with black print on them.  In bold print at the bottom of every one were the words Costume Required.  
  
Sam groaned, “No way, Dean.  You know how I feel about that shit.”  
  
“Yep,” Dean shrugged, “but if you want to see lover boy badly enough you’ll dress or there’s no way we’re getting in.”  
  
Castiel was intrigued.  He’d often thought humans seemed to have more fun than angels.  If he went, he could wear something different.  He didn’t have to wear a suit.  That might be fun.  “What will we wear?”  
  
“You could go as an angel,” Sam suggested, and Castiel frowned.  
  
“I dress as an angel everyday.”  He didn’t want to wear a suit.  
  
“Not like any of the other angels we’ve seen,” Dean said, ruffling his hair.  “Don’t worry Cas, you don’t have to be an angel.  You can be anything you want to be.”  
  
Castiel smiled, “Then perhaps I will be a bee.”  
  
Dean blinked at him, “A bee?”  
  
“Yes, I have always had a passing interest in them.”  
  
“Alright,” Dean said with a shrug, “Cas is a bee, what about you Sammy?”  
  
Sam groaned.  
  
***  
  
In the end Sam had allowed Dean to talk him into a knight outfit.  Dean was dressed as a pirate, and Cas had a fuzzy, yellow-and-black, striped bee costume.  Bobby was wearing a beige hat, and carrying a pipe.  He had a magnifying glass stuffed in one pocket and claimed to be dressed as Sherlock Holmes.  
  
“Let’s get a move on,” Bobby said, and Dean agreed.  They all got into the Impala and headed to the college where the haunted tour was taking place.  He was surprised at how good Cas looked in the bee costume.  It was adorable, not that he would say anything.  Still, every time he looked at Cas he ended up grinning.  
  
The campus was full of costumed people as well as students, and some of the students were in charge of the tour.  Dean couldn’t imagine why Crowley had decided to meet Sam here or what his business at the tour could possibly be, but it seemed silly to bother trying a summoning when they could just find him here.  He reached out to stop Sam from wandering off.  
  
“Stick with me Sammy.”  
  
“Yeah, sure, okay,” Sam said, but his eyes were focussed on an elegantly dressed vampire further into the campus lawn.  
  
“Is that him?”  Dean asked.  
  
“I don’t think so,” Sam replied, looking away.  
  
Sam had been weird about Crowley though, and he might lie in hopes that he could get to the man later and go off with him.  Dean pulled out the small electronic device that was supposed to help find the stone and put on headphones.  Since losing the stone to someone else would void Crowley’s claim on Sam, they all thought Crowley was probably keeping the thing close.  Find the stone, find Crowley.  That was the theory.  
  
Once the device was on Dean started moving around the area searching for the demon, but it never made a sound, even after they were all gathered and moving along for the tour.  
  
“Dean, I believe we have a problem,” Cas said from his side about five minutes into the tour.  Dean looked at him.  
  
“What is it?”  
  
“Bobby has disappeared.”  Cas said.  
  
Dean looked around and quickly discovered Cas was correct.  “I don’t understand, where would he go?”  It was Sam they had to worry about, right?  Dean looked at Sam.  “Hey, have you seen anyone you want to jump?”  
  
Sam shook his head, “Not lately and I hate this costume.”  He took off the knight helmet and set it down.  “In fact I hate this whole thing.  Why did I agree to it?”  
  
“You wanted to get lovey with Crowley, remember?” Dean asked.  
  
“Oh, yeah,” Sam frowned, “I really don’t though.  The whole idea makes me sort of ill.  When I remember how it felt to kiss him, that tongue…” he made a face like he was nauseous.  
  
“You do not desire Crowley?”  Cas asked.  Sam shook his head.  
  
“Crap,” Dean turned away scanning the crowd.  “Okay, he must have switched things up and given the stone to Bobby.  We’d better split up and find him fast.”  
  
“Can I take this thing off?”  Sam gestured at his costume.  
  
“Just don’t get kicked out,” Dean said, “I’ll head north.”  He headed off right away.  If Crowley was there, and he gave the stone to Bobby, why hadn’t it registered on the device?  Maybe it didn’t work?  He heard the sound of two guys making out and headed towards it.  Why would Crowley switch to Bobby?  Wanting to bone Sammy he could get but Bobby?  
  
He saw two forms in the shadow of a building and ran over, grabbing one and pulling him away from the other.  He stared into blue eyes.  The man he’d grabbed was a well build one with blond curly hair.  
  
“What the hell?” the guy asked.  
  
“No, nothing, sorry.”  He looked at the one against the building, too thin to be Bobby or Crowley.  “Um, carry on,” he said, pushing the blond back at the other guy and running off.  It had been an actual couple?  Yeah, he had to be more careful.  He ran into another four couples, several of them involving girls, before he finally found Bobby on his knees in front of Crowley.  
  
“Ew, let him go Crowley,” Dean said right away.  He didn’t know where the stone was, and his backup was nowhere around.  There was no way to contain or fight the demon easily although he did have some holy water.  Sam had the dagger.  The first thing he should have done was call Sam, but he just wanted to get that thing away from Bobby.  
  
The demon laughed, “He’s quite enchanting though, no, I think I’ll keep him.  You do owe me after all.”  
  
“I don’t owe you shit.  Bobby, get away from him.  You know you don’t really want that.”  
  
Bobby stumbled to his feet, but only managed to get a few steps away before turning back.  “Sorry Dean, I don’t have much choice here.”  
  
“If you don’t let him go, I’ll make you suffer,” Dean said.  It only seemed to amuse Crowley.  
  
“Forget about it, you’ll have the angels to deal with soon enough.  You might as well leave your surrogate father to me.  It’s too bad I don’t have two stones, then I could take your brother too.”  
  
Right, the stone had to be on him or he couldn’t have switched to Bobby.  Dean tossed the useless device to the side, frustrated.  
  
“Don’t tell me you thought I would leave the stone unprotected so you could find it?”  Crowley clicked his tongue, “I’m not that careless, Dean.”  
  
That was it.  The stone was on the demon.  All Dean had to do was find it.  He dove at Crowley, splashing holy water as he did.  There was a sizzle, steam, and Crowley tossed Dean off of him with a flick of his wrist.  Dean slammed into a building, and mentally he knew that had hurt, but physically he didn’t really feel it as more than a bruise.  He stood and went at Crowley again.  The demon gave him an uncertain look, then he threw power at Dean again.  
  
Bobby stood nearby, twitching, sometimes looking as if he might help Dean, sometimes Crowley.  
  
Dean kept picking himself up and heading at Crowley again and again.  The problem was as soon as Crowley saw him coming he swatted Dean back.    
  
I need to get behind him, Dean thought and then he was behind him.  He put an arm around Crowley’s throat in a choking grip as his heart raced.  How had he done that?  It had been like Cas, in one place one moment and another the next.  
  
“Give me the stone,” Dean said.  
  
Crowley twisted, turned and finally managed to free himself, throwing Dean into a tree then running for Bobby.  Dean started to run after him then he stopped, staring at the ground.  There was a strange stone there in the grass, black with red stripes running through it.  Reaching down he picked it up.  Was this the stone?  
  
Crowley looked back and went to knock Dean to the side again.  “Cas!” Dean screamed.  
  
“I’m right here Dean,” Cas said, reaching out to touch the stone in his hand.  
  
Crowley stood still as the stone melted into ash, scattering to the ground.  
  
“That was a waste,” he said, then he was gone.  
  
“He has returned to Hell,” Cas said.  
  
“You okay Bobby?” Dean asked, running over.  
  
“Nothin’ worse than embarrassed, you’re the one who got banged around,” Bobby said staring at Dean.  
  
“I’m fine, I…” Dean looked at Cas.  “I am… fine.”  He started looking himself over closely, but for all of the punishment he’d taken there were no lasting marks.  “What’s wrong with me?”  
  
“It’s the bond.”  Castiel said, “It has changed you and me as well.”  
  
***  
  
They found Sam with two angels flanking him.  
  
“What’s going on?”  Castiel asked the angels, but he already knew this wasn’t about Sam.  This was about his bond with Dean.  He could feel it somehow and see it in their eyes.  
  
“You need to come with us,” Uriel said from behind Castiel, “you and…” his eyes went to Dean, “…him.”  
  
Castiel looked at Dean, “No.  Dean must stay here.”  
  
Uriel shook his head, “You know I came on orders, both of you need to come.”  
  
“Cas doesn’t have to go anywhere he doesn’t want to,” Dean said.  
  
Uriel turned on him.  “You know nothing.”  Then he looked at Castiel.  “This is for the best.  When Heaven calls you have to go.”  
  
Yes, it had always been that way, and Castiel didn’t question it.  When Heaven called he went.  Now that he thought of it, though, didn’t he always come back sort of numb?  Also he rarely remembered what happened when he went.  He frowned.  “What does Heaven want with Dean?  He’s not one of us.”  
  
“Nor is he one of them.”  Uriel held his eyes, and Castiel did not like what he saw.  
  
“They think he’s an abomination, like a nephilim.  You’re trying to take us to our deaths.”  
  
There was the briefest moment of hesitation.  “Of course not, I’m sure it’s simply to brief the two of you on Heaven’s expectations of you in your current status.”  
  
Castiel had seen the hesitation though.  Either he was right or Uriel was unsure.  Either way he couldn’t risk it, he couldn’t risk Dean.  He reached out to Dean, taking his hand.  “No, you can tell Heaven that we refused.”  
  
“Then you forfeit the lives of the humans with you,” Uriel gestured around, “all of them.”  
  
Castiel looked around.  He might protect Sam and Bobby, but he could not save every human at the college.  
  
“Fine, we’ll go,” Dean said, eyes on Sam.  Of course, Dean treasured that one life above all else.  Castiel couldn’t be angry.  He could feel Dean’s emotions, and he could understand them.  He nodded, Uriel stepped forward and the three of them were in Heaven.  
  
Castiel felt power rush into him from all around as soon as he arrived.  It was strange, since he’d already been at pretty much full power.  “Dean, you must cover your eyes or…” he stopped talking, because Dean was staring right at an angel in full form and he was fine.  “Perhaps not.”  
  
“What is that?” Dean asked.  
  
“It’s an angel outside of a vessel Dean.”  
  
“I can look at it?”  
  
“You seem to be able to.”  
  
“This way,” Uriel said, leading them into a white hall and down, down, down to a office.  “Wait here.”  Then Uriel left.  
  
“I don’t get it.  Couldn’t we just leave now?”  
  
“You could of course,” a man said coming into the room.  He had light hair and blue eyes, and it was just a vessel, of course, “but it would be rude.”  
  
“Michael.”  Castiel frowned.  
  
“Yes, I’ve been selected to deal with you.”  
  
“Deal with us how?” Dean asked.  
  
“He intends to kill us Dean.  Angels kill what they don’t understand.”  
  
“We aren’t always so harsh.”  Michael leaned in, studying Dean.  “You’ve ruined my vessel Castiel.”  
  
“I’m not sorry.”  
  
“Wait, what?”  Dean asked.  
  
Castiel shrugged, “You were evidently an appropriate vessel for Michael.”  
  
“Not a vessel, the vessel, but I cannot use him now that he has grace.”  
  
“You would have left him a mess anyhow.  It’s good you can’t use Dean.”  
  
“Then there’s you, an angel with a soul.  It cannot be allowed.”  Then Michael reached out and put a hand on Castiel’s head.  
  
Castiel felt the burn as it began in his head, growing, worsening, consuming, then Dean punched Michael, sending him reeling back.  “Leave him alone.”  
  
This time Michael went after Dean, and Castiel did something he would normally never try with an archangel.  He attacked him.  Locked in battle, he and Michael wrecked every piece of furniture in the office before a loud voice boomed through Heaven.  “All of these are my creations!”  The voice said.  
  
Then Castiel and Dean were suddenly standing by the Impala outside of the Haunted Tour.  Cas put a hand out and touched it.  
  
“Who the hell was that?”  Dean asked, “and how are we back?”  
  
Castiel shook his head, not because he didn’t know, but because he couldn’t find his voice.  He had never met God, but he knew His voice.  He’d heard His voice, he’d just heard His voice.  
  
“Hey, are you two okay?”  Sam asked, coming out of the parked Impala and looking from one to the other.  
  
“Yeah, yeah we’re fine,” Dean said.  
  
Castiel nodded, feeling shaky.  “I think… I would like to go now.”  
  
“Sure, sure Cas, let’s take off.”  Sam looked at Dean, and they nodded at each other.  Then Sam helped Castiel into the back of the car.  Bobby already sat in the passenger’s seat, and during the drive Castiel and Dean slowly laid out what had happened in Heaven while Castiel wondered if they were truly safe, or just waiting for the next round.  
  
***  
  
Castiel cuddled close to Dean in the hotel room.  Sam had gone out for a walk, but Castiel thought he was trying to give them time alone.  
  
“You sure you don’t mind?”  Dean asked into Castiel’s hair.  
  
It had been strange, the three bodies, tangled together.  He hadn’t been jealous of Sam’s presence though, or the sex the three of them had shared a couple hours before.  
  
“Not all the time,” Castiel said, “but once in a while is nice I think.”  
  
Dean nodded, “Once in a while is all I want.”  He kissed Castiel, a trail of feather light kisses that made Castiel smile.  “The hunting too, you don’t mind?”  
  
“No, I want the hunting.  I like being with you and helping people.  It feels more… real somehow than what we did in the garrison.”  
  
“Yeah,” Dean fell silent, and Castiel could feel him drifting off.  Drowsy himself, he looked up when Sam reentered the room.  
  
“You could sleep over here you know,” Castiel said.  
  
“I don’t want to get in the way,” Sam said with a brief smile.  
  
“You aren’t in the way, as long as I get him to myself sometimes.”  
  
“I’ll remember that,” Sam smiled again, pausing to brush a hand across Castiel’s cheek.  It was a gentle gesture that put Castiel at ease.  He didn’t know if Sam joined them or not, because his eyes fell closed and he drifted into sleep, in that moment fully content.  
  
~~~~~  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank **you** for reading!


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